Sunday, December 18, 2011
Friday, December 9, 2011
Here it is, enjoy:
Sunday, November 27, 2011
First, I got a refractometer as part of my Christmas loot last year so I didn't need to just guess at gravity and hope I had hit the target I wanted. I think I was testing the wort when it was too hot. It tested at 1.110 so I thought it would be ok to stop the boil. When we tested before we pitched the yeast the gravity was at 1.085. My target gravity was 1.090. So I missed it by just a little.
Also since the gravity was high I changed the yeast to White Labs WLP 099 from White Labs American Ale Yeast Blend WL060. So it should be just a little more agrressive and be able to handle the sugars in the wort.
I changed the boil time as well as the hop veriety. The stout boiled for an hour and used Newport Hops mostly instead of Chinook.
The grains were the same grains I used for the first two batches. The only difference in the grains were that the spelt, the wheat and the rye were rolled. The last two times I was only able to get the whole grain and had to crush them in my grinder. Not the best way to do it. The rolled grains made the actual volume of the grains larger but it also created more surface area.
You can find the origanial post I wrote here.
This is what I did for this batch:
23 pounds 2 row
2 pounds rolled spelt
1 pound amaranth
1 pound quinoa
1¼ pounds rolled wheat berries
1¼ pounds rolled rye berries
1 pound old fashioned oatmeal
1 pound flaked barley
2 pounds roasted barley
1½ pounds Chrystal 170º
1 pound Black Patent Malt
2 pounds carapils
1½ pounds victory malt
2 Cups molasses
¾ pound of Rocket Java
2 Oz. Newport
2½ Oz. Chinook
White Labs Super High Gravity WLP 099
Step by step:
Coarsely crush all grains. For the amaranth and quinoa you'll need to employ a food processor.
Heat 10 gallons of water to 170º. Mash in. Stabilise at 155º. Hold for 90 minutes. Raise to 165º and mash out. First running should take about an hour to complete, be patient. Sparge to collect 15 gallons of runoff.
Bring to a boil. Allow the boil to continue until you have reduced the total volume to 13 gallons (may take awhile depending in how hot your burner gets.) You are aiming for a total end-boil volume of no more than 10 gallons of wort to reach your target gravity. Add the two cups of molasses at anytime during the boil. Use caution to avoid scorching it on the bottom of your boil kettle.
Hopping Schedule: 60 minute boil.
2 oz. Newport after initial 10 minute boil
1½ oz Chinook at 45 minutes
1 oz Chinook at flame out
¾ pound Rocket Java (beans broken in half. A frying pan and Ziploc bag work well.) at flame out
Cover and rest for 10 minutes. Chill and ferment. Primary ferment one week. Secondary for two weeks (Dry hop with ½ oz. Chinook per five gallons). Bottle/keg as normal.
Here's a photo of five gallons of this year's Dinty posing with my Chainsaw Bat:
Thursday, November 3, 2011
With hands shaking and sheer panic near-to-hand I walked to the bank. I had seen the note posted on the town bulletin board about defenses (that in previous days had aptly kept the horde out of town) were now to be distributed amongst the citizens. I withdrew my allotment and carried them back to my shack.
As I was placing the wooden board and the sheet metal in front of the door I heard someone tacking a note to my door. I opened it just in time to see EnglishNinja dart away (The general defense of the town had depended on his quick thinking these past two weeks so I understood why he was in such a hurry).
The note asked me if I could drink the Wake the Dead in the bank. He wanted me (in my hammered state) to convert 3 scrap irons to wrought iron and then build a fence around my shack when I was finished. Another citizen needed my sheet metal.
After I had finished the fence I went back inside my shack. If I was to die this night I'd do it drunk.
I closed my eyes and went to sleep.
At midnight I was awakened to loud, pain filled screams. I ran to my door and opened it the slightest crack. "Tinted!", I called out. "Can you hear me? Are you ok? Megaton! Hang in there!"
I saw a group five of zacks turn their heads and begin to climb over my newly constructed fence. I paused to wish my coalition mates some luck, then slammed the door. I heard the five pounding on the door and was sure they'd break it down any second. I grabbed my Wooden board and put it over myself as I hid under my bed. Maybe if I stayed very still and didn't cry out they'd think I was camping the Post Office again.
The door eventually gave way and all five made it in. They slammed around for a bit. They left without finding me. It might be because I had gone this past two weeks without out ever cleaning my house or uniform, I'll not know. But after the experience I was left even sweatier and much stinkier. Even my faithful labradoodle Munchybunny is keeping her distance.
I had to shove with more force than normal to wedge my door open enough so I could get out. In all the chaos of the horde breaching the walls the streets are filled with even more debris than normal. The spikes, the bonfire, our cannon and even our garbage heap had been broken and scattered all through the town.
Other than the trash the streets were empty. No one had ventured out. I went to TintedGrey's shack first. I pounded on her door. No answer. With heavy heart I pulled the door open and peeked inside. Tinted had attempted to hide under her bed as well. She chose to hug a broken guitar instead of pull the defensive objects with her. Half of her was still there under it. The other half was across the room.
I stepped inside and rifled through my rucksack. I pulled out a water ration and poured it all over her remains. I backed away quickly as it bubbled and steamed. "I'd never allow you to become a shambler. Rest easy friend."
I closed the door and continued to Megaton's shack. The streets were still empty. I began to wonder if I was the only person left. But then I hear a distant voice. It sounded an awful lot like Pooper. I was not alone after all.
As I stood outside Megaton's shack, I was still. I listened very carefully. No sounds emerged from within. I knocked gently. Still hoping my friend had made it. No answer. I knocked louder. Still no response. I knocked with all my might. Nothing.
I heaved a heavy sigh and pulled the door open a crack. Peeked inside. From the coppery odor that emanated from within I knew the worst has happened. My friend had been devoured.
I stepped fully into the shack. He was in an even worse state than I found Tinted in. Either more had come for him or they had been hungrier. His entire mid section was gone. I was only able to find one of his legs and his upper torso.
Once again I opened mu rucksack and pulled out a water ration. "I took care of Tinted the same way Megaton. I know you'd do the same for me buddy. Rest easy." With that I poured the ration over him and walked out into the sunlight.
We lost 12 citizens last night to the horde. 12 of the finest citizens it's ever been my pleasure to scavenge and build and well .... survive beside.
I know I'll join them soon. There's just 14 of us left. I'm standing at the tower now and the horde is much larger than last night. Much. More then 2125 will come for us tonight. At least I am certain the TintedGrey and Megaton will not be among them. I can live with that.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Anyhow here it is:
I'll be wearing it the first day at least.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Everyone was to busy staying alive.
This was at the beginning. This was during The Cull itself, as The Blight swept the country, as the infrastructure gave way like a dam made of salt and all the comfortable certainties - advertising, street-sweepers, hotdog stalls, the Metro newspaper on the underground, discount sales, pirated DVDs, free samples from the supermarkets, full vending machines - all the little frills you never fucking noticed, just slowly ...
2. Misfits - Halloween
3. Donavan - Season of the witch
4. Matthew Sweet - Devil with the green eyes
5. Peter And The Test Tube Babies - Zombie creeping flesh
6. Wenesdayday 13 - The Ghost Of Vincent Price
7. Groovie Ghoulies -(She's My) Vampire Girl
8. G.B.H.- Lycanthropy
9. Demented Are Go! - Zombie Stalk
10. 45 Grave - Partytime
11. Godless Wicked Creeps - Vamps
12. Samhain-November's Fire
13. Bloodrock D.O.A.
14. Groovie Ghoulies - Graveyard Girlfriend
15. Alien Sex Fiend-R.I.P.
16. Chixdiggit! - Chupacabras
17. The Damned - Thanks For The Night
18.Type O Negative - Creepy Green Light
19. Wednesday 13 - Haddonfield
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
The band says: "We created a video set in a post apocalyptic era... Not too long into the video you realize the cause of the end of society as we know it, ZOMBIES! I play the role of zombie slaying bad mother fucker roaming the dessert looking for salvation.
Instead i find a shack infested with all sorts of evil. To capture this horror based music video i recruited my people at Knotts Scary farm. Designer Brooke Walters as well as a legion of monsters. Happy Halloween followers of Plague, stay bloody!"
For more information on WINDS OF PLAGUE, please visit:
Friday, October 14, 2011
These are the spikes:
Now to paint them flat black. Stay tuned.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
It should make the perfect pommel to balance out all the extra weight at the top.
And yes (as noted by tintedgrey) I can bash someone to a pulp with both ends now.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
The other dreamscape is at the beach. Sometimes I think it's Hawaii in them because I have to get on a plane to get there. Other times the dream opens with me there already. I always stay at a beach house. And I mean it's right on the beach. Sometimes the house is up on a cliff. Other times it's almost on the sand.
I always do the same types of things too. But it's in the doing that the dream takes the sideways run and becomes different. Sometimes I'm fishing, and one time I fished right off the back porch. Sometimes I walk through the street market/fair that's in constant motion about a block from the house. Other times I take a walk either through the city or along the beach. Many times it's a combination.
The house is always filled with friends. Some of these I can't remember when I wake up, some are amalgams of two or more people, but always always my wife Millie is with me. I know she's there even if she's "off frame".
In the dream I had last night I takek a walk through the street fair. Stop places and have a beer or two (because I'm a beer tourist). Eat food and have a great time. I have my cell phone with me and know that my wife is out with some friends but that we are going to meet on the beach at sunset. I am supposed to call her when I am done exploring the street fair and am on the way to the beach.
After wandering the fair for a bit I begin to make my way to the beach. It's still a bit of a walk so I don't call yet.
Then a strange thing happens. It's a dream so it only seems strange when you wake up. Time lurches forward. It's now past sunset. The day has entered my favorite time. The Blue World. It's that time that exists for only about five minutes just after the sun has set. The whole world turns blue. It's at this time that I am entering the beach. I notice that there seems to be more people there than normal. It's filled with people.
Millie is not with me. But I don't find this strange. We've met and watched the sunset and she has gone back to rejoin 'the ladies'. We meet and then do our own thing a lot not in dreamscape so I didn't think anything of it.
As I walk along the beach the night begins in earnest. Lights in the city come on, the moon rises. I continue to walk along the beach.
Then from the far distance I hear voices begin to rise. That's not normal. The beach is always been fairly peaceful (well there was the big storm that one time). The voices become more urgent and louder. I picke up the phrase 'radio' in all the babbling.
Soon after a squadron of jets flies over. They come from the far side of the city then cross over the beach and continue out over the ocean.
As I turn my head to follow the path of the jets my gaze falls on the moon. It is bright and full in the cloudless sky.
It is also moving rapidly from horizon to horizon and tumbling as it does so. When everyone else on the beach notices this panic sets in. Everyone begins to run. I stand firm and watch the moon. It is still tumbling and moving quickly across the sky, but now it looks as if large areas are on fire.
Time lurched again and I find myself running down the beach with everyone else. I hold my cell phone in my hand and frantically try to call my wife. The signal isn't going through. I try several more times and then put the phone in my pocket.
Up ahead on the beach is some sort of large tent or pavilion and everyone is going into it. I follow them. Everyone is getting into a line. At the front, there is a lady who looks Chinese but speaks in a Russian accent. She hands me a chocolate bar and says that it's the best I'd ever taste and that it'd make me feel better.
I open the wrapper and take a bite.
It's then that I wake up. I look around my dark bedroom, reach over and pat my wife on the behind and think to myself 'wow, that was weird'. Then I go back to sleep.
Monday, October 3, 2011
The first: A classic Louisville Slugger
The second: A typical chainsaw
Since I had a lot of spare time in my Remedial Reading (Special Education) class ... well because I'm a reading specialist and it's a lot of review for me (right now anyway), I decided to try my hand at some concept art. Hey, it's not my fault she handed us a giant box of crayons during our first class.
That's right. CHAINSAW BAT! Complete with giant metal spikes. YES!
Also for those among you who are just a little more techno savvy than I am, there's a chainsaw bat pictured at about the 46 minute mark in the film Deadland that I tried (with no success) to capture. I have something shiny for the first person to post it. That is all.
Further updates as events warrant.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
It's a Russian Military Rucksack made in 1961.
Now to add patches and things/stuff/junk
Friday, September 16, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
The Bad News is I have run out of clipped loops and need to wind and cut some more.
Further Updates as events warrant.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
I'm doing it from scratch. I want to spend as little as possible on this this thing. Anyhow I borrowed my father-in-law's electric drill and got a piece of scrap metal from the welding shop I worked at before I was a teacher:
Then I got some left over wire from when I built a Trumpeter Swan from paper mache and used the drill to make tightly coiled springs:
Next I cut all the 'coil loops' apart with a wire cutter:
Lastly, I weave the mail from the cut loops. Here is the start:
Notice my hands taped up with duct tape in those photos? My delicate hands began to blister after 15 minutes of cutting. Duct tape (and ingenuity) came to my rescue.
Costumes are required for everyone. Mine will be sweet. First step is to take my old metalhead leather jacket and transform it.
Here is a before pic:
I'll update as needed. It'll be tagged Wasteland Weekend.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Come September I know where I'll be. At the front of the line man.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Harry: Hey, hey, hey! Don't think about it.
Julie: Oh, God. Hell. It's hell out there now isn't it?
Harry: Just blot it out.
Julie: If you weren't in here with me ... that would be hell. People are going to help each other won't they? I mean rebuild things. The survivors, I mean.
Harry: I think it's the insect's turn.
Julie: Oh ... all your life you think you have time to do everything ... and then it's just ...
Saw this movie was free on demand earlier today and just had to give it a go. Who cares that I own it right? I didn't feel like standing up and putting it in my DVD player when it was right there at the push of a button.
The movie plays like the most twisted version of that old kid's game 'telephone' ever. And it starts with an actual phone call. The only person who knows for sure what was said during the call thought it was a prank caller. There's several points where I found myself wondering if it was true or not as well. I know there were several times when Harry was thinking 'Oh. Shit. What have I started?'
It's the mix of that kid's game with just the slightest dash of the Cassandra syndrome that makes this film so great. Harry knows KNOWS that the missiles are on the way but very few people exept the wingnuts will believe him. It's enough to leave anyone doubting their own sanity.
Anyhow, it was just as great this time as was when I first watched it years ago. As I was telling my friend Megaton it starts off slowly but by the time it's over you're all white knuckles. If you've not seen it before watch it. Now. If you've seen it, well, you should give it another go.
You'll need a hug ... indeed.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Over the past week or so she's gone through many trials and (dare I say?) tribulations. Anyhow the latest episode involved some fruit flies. In her latest post she refered to these as being a 'symphony of difficulty'. Well Susan it could always be a Symphony of Destruction.
I give you said symphony:
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Well friends, it seems that it has had a rebirth. An update if you will. I never knew that Centipede was an apocalyptic game at all. Apparently though it was/is. Or at least its update is.
This comes from Nintendo:
Twelve years after a nuclear war, the world has turned into an uninhabitable wasteland with mutant insects and humanity holding onto survival in outposts hidden from the poisonous air and killer Centipedes. This Fall, Nintendo fans can become humanity's only hope for survival as Atari, one of the world's most recognized publishers and producers of interactive entertainment, and developer WayForward re-imagine the legendary video game franchise Centipede for a new generation of gamers with Centipede: Infestation.
"Centipede: Infestation modernizes one our most popular brands for Nintendo's youthful audience," said Jim Wilson, President and CEO of Atari S.A. "This game and other games to follow, further define Atari's strategy to build upon our library of celebrated IP and reimagine them for next generation game platforms."
Centipede: Infestation is a post-apocalyptic action experience that features run-n-gun shooting style gameplay with tower defense-style objects, paying homage to the original Centipede while bringing the brand into the 21st century. Players assume the role of an orphaned teenager hero named Max as he trudges through the wasteland, fighting off giant bugs. During Max's travels he encounters a young teen named Maisy who possesses a collection of seeds that hold the secret to bringing plant life back to the wasteland. Max and Maisy join forces to grow these gardens and protect the last natural resources on earth.
Players will be swarmed by mutated spiders, beetles, grubs, caterpillars, moths, and boss insects across the game's expansive world of seven environments and 40 stages. To defeat these mutant species and restore mankind, players will have to use an array of weaponry - Lightning Orb Gun, Nuke Cannon, Freezethrower, Mine Launcher, and more - as well as power-ups to fight through the invasions.
Like the toadstool of the original Centipede game, each insect has a unique defensive object that it can leave behind, as a 'special' variation. These defensive objects are short-lived combat tools that distract, attack, or block insect assaults during battle.
Additionally, the game allows players to team up with friends to fight off even more bugs with 2 player co-op multiplayer features. Nintendo 3DS players will be able to take advantage of unique StreetPass features that enable them to uniquely share content between passing Nintendo 3DS users. Centipede: Infestation for Nintendo 3DS will also feature gooey 3D visuals and ad-hoc multiplayer for 2 player co-op.
For more information, please log onto http://www.atari.com/.
And here's a small taste of game play. For the record, I'd have liked to see more ruins.
Friday, July 22, 2011
If you think that
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, outrun my gun.
All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet."
was a little violent, you've seen nothing yet.
Here's the latest from Foster the People.
I give you Helena Beat. Watch for the dead cat and the pig's head. Choice!
They describe the video as:
Post-apocalyptic, ‘Lord of the Flies’ meets ‘Mad Max,’ so, it’s a bunch of kids, and they kidnap us and take us into this warehouse, and there’s a really crazy twist at the end. But it’s super-visual, and it’s a mixture of really, like, bizarre circumstances — it’s dark, but it’s also pretty tongue-in-cheek and fun.
A little behind the scenes action here:
Even more choice!
OK, technically, there are no zombies involved in this post, but "infected" had too many syllables, and the infected are close enough to zombies anyway. Or are they?
That's one of the topics that's likely to come up as we discuss the next official Post-Apocalyptic Book Club selection, The Infection, by Craig DiLouie.
It's been a while since we've had a book club discussion, but we've had several requests to start one up again, and the folks at Permuted Press made it easy for us to choose a book by offering readers a 20% discount on an ebook version of The Infection from Smashwords.
The Infection takes place as one in five people collapse screaming before falling into a coma. Three days later, the Infected awake with a single purpose: spread the Infection. A small group—a cop, teacher, student, reverend—team up with a military crew to survive. But at a refugee camp, what’s left of the government will ask them to accept a dangerous mission back into the very heart of Infection.
So if you want to get in on the fun, first head over to the Smashwords page for The Infection, and use coupon code VW57R (that's a V and then a W). But the code expires on August 5th, so don't put it off.
Then join us in the Book Club section of The Post-Apocalyptic Forums (forum registration is not necessary for the book club). We'll have separate threads set up for different sections of the book so that you can read at your own pace, and discuss just what you've read, but still not be spoiled by others who have read further than you.
And Craig DiLouie has said that he'll stop by the forum himself to see how the discussion is going, and to contribute what he can.
The coupon expires in two weeks, but those of us who've already read the book will start up the discussions right away, so feel free to join us anytime.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
And yes. Before you ask it was on the second Gray's Anatomy soundtrack. It's the message though ... the message.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
"Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin', people,
Stayin' alive, stayin' alive."
Wastelander .... you know you want to cover this.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
A screen cap to whet your appetite:
My in game handle is fear. See you on the inside.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Another fun fact about this area is that there old buildings around. One such dilapidated building I ran across was an old 'Garden Shed'. It came complete with a number of rusty chains, a couple chainsaws and old lawnmowers as well as a few toolbags:
As I told Megaton: You know you're playing die2nite too much when you discover an old garden shed and your first response is 'YES! Chainsaw -fistpump-
On the trip (as always) I bring a number of books. This trip I brought the book I am reading now (Without Warning) and a book of short stories (Wastelands, Stories of the Apocalypse), to sort of fill in, if I got bored with the other. Anyhow I was reading in the car on the way to somewhere or other a story called The People of Sand and Slag by Paolo Bacigalupi. That last link goes to the full text of the story. I'll wait 'till you finish then move on ....
The short story reads kind of like the polar twin to A Boy and His Dog by Harlan Ellison (not the polar opposite of ... because polar and opposite are synonyms. Better is an antonym: polar and twin do nicely.)
The story it is most similar (twin) to is Something Passed By by Robert R. McCammon (Link goes to full text ... I'll wait ... again).
But that's not why I'm writing about The People of Sand and Slag. I can't be the only one who has been reading and listening to the radio when the word they are reading is said on the radio or is in the song. When I was reading Sand and Slag it happened for the first time ever. Not just the single word sung and read simutaniusly, the entire sentence I was reading was in the song that was playing. The one sentence (and the following one as well) also sort of sum up the feeling of the short story. 'If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?' It's by Sheryl Crow:
That's all I have to say about that.
Every time I go to O'Niels I pass through Turlock. It just so happens to have a Costco that supplies us with cheap gas. It is also home to the Tulock Killdozer. Well that's what I've always called it anyhow. Each time I've passed it I've wanted to stop and check it out. Then inevitably I just tell myself 'next time' and continue on the way.
Not this time. I made it a point to stop. I had assumed that it was just one those giant roadside attraction type things like the giant ball of yarn or a rodent of unusual size. It was even better.
The Turlock Killdozer is a giant bulldozer. Big and stuff.
From the side:
That's right. That's me your humble blogger there in the photo. You may not be able to tell from the picture but let me assure you I felt like a giant asshat. 'Why?', you may ask. Well because the 'Killdozer' is, in actual fact, an office building for United Equipment.
You can imagine my shock when I opened the door to the thing, expecting a gift shop or something, and found a rather normal, ordinary office building inside. I asked if I could go upstairs and look out the window. The guy who greeted me had no problem showing me around.
At the top of the stairs I was met with a sight I had TOTALLY not expected. He opened a door so I could look out the window as I had asked and I was greeted with a fully functioning Man Cave in what would have been the cab of the Killdozer. RIGHTEOUS!
I am not the only one who has been stunned by what the Killdozer turned out to be.
Ripley (of Believe It Or Not Fame) was taken aback by it:
It's been featured in newspaper comics:
Magazine articles have been even been written about the Killdozer:
So I guess I shouldn't feel so bad about about thinking the Killdozer was an ordinary roadside attraction as it has fooled so many. But I felt like a jackass anyhow. My wife's laughter didn't help much.
So that's it. A great vacation topped off by a healthy dose of embarrassment. What more can you ask for huh?
Sunday, May 22, 2011
I would suggest that he open up a nice bottle of Ommegeddon Ale from Ommegang Brewery in Cooperstown, NY:
This beer was pretty good. It's not my normal choice of beverage. I usually go for a brew with a bit more hop flavor.
The beer itself here.
It was expensive. The 22 oz. bottle set me back $13.99. I was expecting some bottled magic here. When I got it home I unwrapped the foil, twisted off the wire basket and carefully popped the cork that held the beer pressurized.
Now I don't have a snifter to pour it into (I guess this what is required to get the full effect of the aroma). If any of you wish to purchase me one feel free to let me know. I only come equipped with a set of four pilzner glasses. I made them do. With the glass I didn't get a whole lot of hop aroma.
The color was golden. The head was stark white and very creamy.
There was some sediment but as a homebrewer I'm used to that and left the last half ounce or so in the bottle. The clarity of the brew was not impeded by the yeasty fallout.
The taste. It had a fruity quality. Sweet. I go for beers that are extremely hoppy and excoriate your pallet. This one (although it was a fine tasting beverage) is not what I drink. So your millage my vary.
Harold Camping: Pop the cork. Quaff the drink. Bet you'll find it enjoyable. And the expense I mentioned earlier? You wont have to worry about it will you? You old coot. Plenty of fools gave you everything they have.
Final thought: the bookshelves of doom has had a soundtrack for awhile, as of today it has an official beverage as well.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Fifi's blank look spoke volumes for a for education that ended when she was only thirteen years old.
"Thomas Hobbes, darling," explained Jules. "A Brit. He invented the idea of the violent clusterfuck, with everyone fighting each other. Like a Jackie Chan movie. Or a cagewrestling free-for-all on the telly. You know, Smackdown or Spankdown or whatever it's called."