Cosy Catastrophe

A holiday song ...

2011-12-18T16:22:00.000-08:00

have a good winter festival ... whichever one you choose to believe.

KELOID

2011-12-09T16:32:00.000-08:00

Saw a bunch of teenagers at my subgig today all enthralled with this. Every bit of it is CGI. Seems to all be in an eastern European language (Russian?). It appears to be vaguely apocalyptic. Reminds me a bit of Robopocalypse.

Here it is, enjoy:

Dinty Moore Wasteland Stout

2011-11-27T20:11:00.000-08:00

Friday was the big day. Brewed the third batch of Dinty Moore. I'll be enjoying 5 gallons at the brewery and the second 5 gallons I'll take with me to share at Wasteland Weekend. It took a full seven and a half hours to brew it this year. Did a couple things different this batch.

First, I got a refractometer as part of my Christmas loot last year so I didn't need to just guess at gravity and hope I had hit the target I wanted. I think I was testing the wort when it was too hot. It tested at 1.110 so I thought it would be ok to stop the boil. When we tested before we pitched the yeast the gravity was at 1.085. My target gravity was 1.090. So I missed it by just a little.

Also since the gravity was high I changed the yeast to White Labs WLP 099 from White Labs American Ale Yeast Blend WL060. So it should be just a little more agrressive and be able to handle the sugars in the wort.

I changed the boil time as well as the hop veriety. The stout boiled for an hour and used Newport Hops mostly instead of Chinook.

The grains were the same grains I used for the first two batches. The only difference in the grains were that the spelt, the wheat and the rye were rolled. The last two times I was only able to get the whole grain and had to crush them in my grinder. Not the best way to do it. The rolled grains made the actual volume of the grains larger but it also created more surface area.

You can find the origanial post I wrote here.

This is what I did for this batch:

Grain Bill
23 pounds 2 row
2 pounds rolled spelt
1 pound amaranth
1 pound quinoa
1¼ pounds rolled wheat berries
1¼ pounds rolled rye berries
1 pound old fashioned oatmeal
1 pound flaked barley
2 pounds roasted barley
1½ pounds Chrystal 170º
1 pound Black Patent Malt
2 pounds carapils
1½ pounds victory malt

Other Ingredients
2 Cups molasses
¾ pound of Rocket Java

Hops
2 Oz. Newport
2½ Oz. Chinook

Yeast
White Labs Super High Gravity WLP 099

Step by step:

Coarsely crush all grains. For the amaranth and quinoa you'll need to employ a food processor.

Heat 10 gallons of water to 170º. Mash in. Stabilise at 155º. Hold for 90 minutes. Raise to 165º and mash out. First running should take about an hour to complete, be patient. Sparge to collect 15 gallons of runoff.

Bring to a boil. Allow the boil to continue until you have reduced the total volume to 13 gallons (may take awhile depending in how hot your burner gets.) You are aiming for a total end-boil volume of no more than 10 gallons of wort to reach your target gravity. Add the two cups of molasses at anytime during the boil. Use caution to avoid scorching it on the bottom of your boil kettle.

Hopping Schedule: 60 minute boil.

2 oz. Newport after initial 10 minute boil
1½ oz Chinook at 45 minutes
1 oz Chinook at flame out

¾ pound Rocket Java (beans broken in half. A frying pan and Ziploc bag work well.) at flame out

Cover and rest for 10 minutes. Chill and ferment. Primary ferment one week. Secondary for two weeks (Dry hop with ½ oz. Chinook per five gallons). Bottle/keg as normal.

og 1.085
fg BTD
ABV TBD

Here's a photo of five gallons of this year's Dinty posing with my Chainsaw Bat:

Die2Nite Flash Fiction: The Unsightly Tomb Day 13

2011-11-03T20:52:00.000-07:00

It only took a look from the top of the watchtower yesterday for the full scope and magnitude of the situation to fully sink in. A horde of 1761 zombies were lurching and groaning toward our gates. Our defenses stood at a mere 1139 points. With all of temporary defenses in place the defense wasn't going to get any better. Even worse, all the buildings had been camped so there was no hope of a last minute reprieve.

With hands shaking and sheer panic near-to-hand I walked to the bank. I had seen the note posted on the town bulletin board about defenses (that in previous days had aptly kept the horde out of town) were now to be distributed amongst the citizens. I withdrew my allotment and carried them back to my shack.

As I was placing the wooden board and the sheet metal in front of the door I heard someone tacking a note to my door. I opened it just in time to see EnglishNinja dart away (The general defense of the town had depended on his quick thinking these past two weeks so I understood why he was in such a hurry).

The note asked me if I could drink the Wake the Dead in the bank. He wanted me (in my hammered state) to convert 3 scrap irons to wrought iron and then build a fence around my shack when I was finished. Another citizen needed my sheet metal.

After I had finished the fence I went back inside my shack. If I was to die this night I'd do it drunk.

I closed my eyes and went to sleep.

At midnight I was awakened to loud, pain filled screams. I ran to my door and opened it the slightest crack. "Tinted!", I called out. "Can you hear me? Are you ok? Megaton! Hang in there!"

I saw a group five of zacks turn their heads and begin to climb over my newly constructed fence. I paused to wish my coalition mates some luck, then slammed the door. I heard the five pounding on the door and was sure they'd break it down any second. I grabbed my Wooden board and put it over myself as I hid under my bed. Maybe if I stayed very still and didn't cry out they'd think I was camping the Post Office again.

The door eventually gave way and all five made it in. They slammed around for a bit. They left without finding me. It might be because I had gone this past two weeks without out ever cleaning my house or uniform, I'll not know. But after the experience I was left even sweatier and much stinkier. Even my faithful labradoodle Munchybunny is keeping her distance.

I had to shove with more force than normal to wedge my door open enough so I could get out. In all the chaos of the horde breaching the walls the streets are filled with even more debris than normal. The spikes, the bonfire, our cannon and even our garbage heap had been broken and scattered all through the town.

Other than the trash the streets were empty. No one had ventured out. I went to TintedGrey's shack first. I pounded on her door. No answer. With heavy heart I pulled the door open and peeked inside. Tinted had attempted to hide under her bed as well. She chose to hug a broken guitar instead of pull the defensive objects with her. Half of her was still there under it. The other half was across the room.

I stepped inside and rifled through my rucksack. I pulled out a water ration and poured it all over her remains. I backed away quickly as it bubbled and steamed. "I'd never allow you to become a shambler. Rest easy friend."

I closed the door and continued to Megaton's shack. The streets were still empty. I began to wonder if I was the only person left. But then I hear a distant voice. It sounded an awful lot like Pooper. I was not alone after all.

As I stood outside Megaton's shack, I was still. I listened very carefully. No sounds emerged from within. I knocked gently. Still hoping my friend had made it. No answer. I knocked louder. Still no response. I knocked with all my might. Nothing.

I heaved a heavy sigh and pulled the door open a crack. Peeked inside. From the coppery odor that emanated from within I knew the worst has happened. My friend had been devoured.

I stepped fully into the shack. He was in an even worse state than I found Tinted in. Either more had come for him or they had been hungrier. His entire mid section was gone. I was only able to find one of his legs and his upper torso.

Once again I opened mu rucksack and pulled out a water ration. "I took care of Tinted the same way Megaton. I know you'd do the same for me buddy. Rest easy." With that I poured the ration over him and walked out into the sunlight.

We lost 12 citizens last night to the horde. 12 of the finest citizens it's ever been my pleasure to scavenge and build and well .... survive beside.

I know I'll join them soon. There's just 14 of us left. I'm standing at the tower now and the horde is much larger than last night. Much. More then 2125 will come for us tonight. At least I am certain the TintedGrey and Megaton will not be among them. I can live with that.

Wasteland Shirt

2011-11-02T18:11:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd posted this. Maybe, maybe not. Anyhow this is the shirt I'll be sporting at the festival. It's an art shirt I guess. I bought it from Dirty and Distressed. So yeah it's the only part of my costume I haven't made myself. But I think making the chainmail sleeve makes up for it don't you think?

Anyhow here it is:

I'll be wearing it the first day at least.

The Culled by Simon Spurrier

2011-10-29T10:29:00.000-07:00

No one was making anything new. No documentaries along the present emergency. No one had the time or energy to programme new channels.

Everyone was to busy staying alive.

This was at the beginning. This was during The Cull itself, as The Blight swept the country, as the infrastructure gave way like a dam made of salt and all the comfortable certainties - advertising, street-sweepers, hotdog stalls, the Metro newspaper on the underground, discount sales, pirated DVDs, free samples from the supermarkets, full vending machines - all the little frills you never fucking noticed, just slowly ...

went away.

Halloween playlist

2011-10-29T08:23:00.000-07:00

1) Wendnesday 13: Haunt Me

2. Misfits - Halloween

3. Donavan - Season of the witch

4. Matthew Sweet - Devil with the green eyes

5. Peter And The Test Tube Babies - Zombie creeping flesh

6. Wenesdayday 13 - The Ghost Of Vincent Price

7. Groovie Ghoulies -(She's My) Vampire Girl

8. G.B.H.- Lycanthropy

9. Demented Are Go! - Zombie Stalk

10. 45 Grave - Partytime

11. Godless Wicked Creeps - Vamps

12. Samhain-November's Fire

13. Bloodrock D.O.A.

14. Groovie Ghoulies - Graveyard Girlfriend

15. Alien Sex Fiend-R.I.P.

16. Chixdiggit! - Chupacabras

17. The Damned - Thanks For The Night

18.Type O Negative - Creepy Green Light

19. Wednesday 13 - Haddonfield

Post Apocalyptic Earth Blog: Post Apocalyptic Larpers Unite!!

2011-10-26T22:55:00.000-07:00

Post Apocalyptic Earth Blog: Post Apocalyptic Larpers Unite!!: So I thought I would post this, I am looking to start a Post Apocalyptic larping group. It would by no means only be about Fallout of Mad Ma...

REBLOG: Musical Interlude the First Megton.us

2011-10-22T19:31:00.000-07:00

Reposted from Megaton.us

The band says: "We created a video set in a post apocalyptic era... Not too long into the video you realize the cause of the end of society as we know it, ZOMBIES! I play the role of zombie slaying bad mother fucker roaming the dessert looking for salvation.

Instead i find a shack infested with all sorts of evil. To capture this horror based music video i recruited my people at Knotts Scary farm. Designer Brooke Walters as well as a legion of monsters. Happy Halloween followers of Plague, stay bloody!"

For more information on WINDS OF PLAGUE, please visit:
www.facebook.com/windsofplague
www.myspace.com/windsofplague
www.twitter.com/windsofplague
www.centurymedia.com

Spikes for the Chainsaw Bat

2011-10-14T18:36:00.000-07:00

Procured them today. 8 of the larger ones and 12 of the smaller ones. Bigger ones will be in two rows down the sides of the bat where the chainsaw bar isn't. the smaller ones I'll put in four rows. A row on each side of the bigger ones. The rest I'll put in rings around the bat below the chainsaw bar.

These are the spikes:

Now to paint them flat black. Stay tuned.

In honor of my In Game Death

2011-10-11T12:41:00.001-07:00

I'm not dead yet but soon. To comemorate this event I present a little sing along:

Die2nite .... indeed.

Another part for the Chainsaw Bat

2011-10-10T13:50:00.000-07:00

Scavenged the local Pick-A-Part and came away with this nifty ball hitch right here:

It should make the perfect pommel to balance out all the extra weight at the top.

And yes (as noted by tintedgrey) I can bash someone to a pulp with both ends now.

Chainsaw Bat

2011-10-08T15:41:00.001-07:00

75% done with the epoxy. Looks exactly as I wanted it to.

Next step spikes. Stay tuned, further updates as events warrant.

Of Dreams, Dreaming and The Apocalypse

2011-10-05T17:01:00.000-07:00

My dreams have aways been vivid. There are times when I've had a week-long miniseries type dream. Most of my dreams have two basic dreamscapes. In one I'm in a tall tower. Think 'the biggest building in the world'. For what ever reason it's a self contained building. Schools and everything inside. I never leave the place. Also, for whatever reason the elevators are extremely opulent. Also they are immense. I am always in the elevators I ride them to the top then go back down. In one dream there's an office inside. Computers. Cubicles. Everything. I didn't have the 'Tower' dream last night.

The other dreamscape is at the beach. Sometimes I think it's Hawaii in them because I have to get on a plane to get there. Other times the dream opens with me there already. I always stay at a beach house. And I mean it's right on the beach. Sometimes the house is up on a cliff. Other times it's almost on the sand.

I always do the same types of things too. But it's in the doing that the dream takes the sideways run and becomes different. Sometimes I'm fishing, and one time I fished right off the back porch. Sometimes I walk through the street market/fair that's in constant motion about a block from the house. Other times I take a walk either through the city or along the beach. Many times it's a combination.

The house is always filled with friends. Some of these I can't remember when I wake up, some are amalgams of two or more people, but always always my wife Millie is with me. I know she's there even if she's "off frame".

In the dream I had last night I takek a walk through the street fair. Stop places and have a beer or two (because I'm a beer tourist). Eat food and have a great time. I have my cell phone with me and know that my wife is out with some friends but that we are going to meet on the beach at sunset. I am supposed to call her when I am done exploring the street fair and am on the way to the beach.

After wandering the fair for a bit I begin to make my way to the beach. It's still a bit of a walk so I don't call yet.

Then a strange thing happens. It's a dream so it only seems strange when you wake up. Time lurches forward. It's now past sunset. The day has entered my favorite time. The Blue World. It's that time that exists for only about five minutes just after the sun has set. The whole world turns blue. It's at this time that I am entering the beach. I notice that there seems to be more people there than normal. It's filled with people.

Millie is not with me. But I don't find this strange. We've met and watched the sunset and she has gone back to rejoin 'the ladies'. We meet and then do our own thing a lot not in dreamscape so I didn't think anything of it.

As I walk along the beach the night begins in earnest. Lights in the city come on, the moon rises. I continue to walk along the beach.

Then from the far distance I hear voices begin to rise. That's not normal. The beach is always been fairly peaceful (well there was the big storm that one time). The voices become more urgent and louder. I picke up the phrase 'radio' in all the babbling.

Soon after a squadron of jets flies over. They come from the far side of the city then cross over the beach and continue out over the ocean.

As I turn my head to follow the path of the jets my gaze falls on the moon. It is bright and full in the cloudless sky.

It is also moving rapidly from horizon to horizon and tumbling as it does so. When everyone else on the beach notices this panic sets in. Everyone begins to run. I stand firm and watch the moon. It is still tumbling and moving quickly across the sky, but now it looks as if large areas are on fire.

Time lurched again and I find myself running down the beach with everyone else. I hold my cell phone in my hand and frantically try to call my wife. The signal isn't going through. I try several more times and then put the phone in my pocket.

Up ahead on the beach is some sort of large tent or pavilion and everyone is going into it. I follow them. Everyone is getting into a line. At the front, there is a lady who looks Chinese but speaks in a Russian accent. She hands me a chocolate bar and says that it's the best I'd ever taste and that it'd make me feel better.

I open the wrapper and take a bite.

It's then that I wake up. I look around my dark bedroom, reach over and pat my wife on the behind and think to myself 'wow, that was weird'. Then I go back to sleep.

Weapons of the Wasteland

2011-10-03T20:51:00.000-07:00

My primary weapon will consist of the perfect melding of two sweet armaments you'd want as a scavenger.

The first: A classic Louisville Slugger

The second: A typical chainsaw

Since I had a lot of spare time in my Remedial Reading (Special Education) class ... well because I'm a reading specialist and it's a lot of review for me (right now anyway), I decided to try my hand at some concept art. Hey, it's not my fault she handed us a giant box of crayons during our first class.

That's right. CHAINSAW BAT! Complete with giant metal spikes. YES!

Also for those among you who are just a little more techno savvy than I am, there's a chainsaw bat pictured at about the 46 minute mark in the film Deadland that I tried (with no success) to capture. I have something shiny for the first person to post it. That is all.

Further updates as events warrant.

Wasteland Rucksack

2011-09-28T11:33:00.000-07:00

Check this off the list: one apocalyptic-looking backpack. I'll be the envy of all the scavengers with this number.

It's a Russian Military Rucksack made in 1961.

Now to add patches and things/stuff/junk

Musical Interlude The Twenty First

2011-09-16T19:03:00.000-07:00

Just listen ... think about it.

I look to the sky but there's nobody watchin'
Left here behind all alone and forgotten
So now the world belongs to me, the world belongs to me

Wasteland Weekend Promo

2011-09-14T18:12:00.000-07:00

Next year it's on! But, for now, I'll have to make do with watching from the sidelines.

Leather Jacket Update #2

2011-09-10T20:39:00.000-07:00

The Good News is the chain mail is about 1/4 of the way done. And is looking great:

The Bad News is I have run out of clipped loops and need to wind and cut some more.

Further Updates as events warrant.

Leather Jacket Update #1

2011-08-23T15:20:00.000-07:00

The left sleeve will be chain mail at least to the elbow.

I'm doing it from scratch. I want to spend as little as possible on this this thing. Anyhow I borrowed my father-in-law's electric drill and got a piece of scrap metal from the welding shop I worked at before I was a teacher:

Then I got some left over wire from when I built a Trumpeter Swan from paper mache and used the drill to make tightly coiled springs:

Next I cut all the 'coil loops' apart with a wire cutter:

Lastly, I weave the mail from the cut loops. Here is the start:

Notice my hands taped up with duct tape in those photos? My delicate hands began to blister after 15 minutes of cutting. Duct tape (and ingenuity) came to my rescue.

Wasteland Weekend 2012

2011-08-23T14:53:00.000-07:00

This is a Mad Max Festival in the Southern California desert. I can't go this year because I didn't have enough lead time. But next year it's on.

Costumes are required for everyone. Mine will be sweet. First step is to take my old metalhead leather jacket and transform it.

Here is a before pic:

I'll update as needed. It'll be tagged Wasteland Weekend.

Contagion

2011-08-16T13:18:00.000-07:00

This film looks pretty exciting, looks like the real deal to me. When I saw it last night I thought it was a teaser for The Stand at first. But that's crazy because I don't even think it's stated to film yet. Be that as it may, this appears to a fairly large budget apocalyptic movie with some pretty big-named stars in it.

Come September I know where I'll be. At the front of the line man.

Yet another apocalyptic music video

2011-08-15T19:30:00.000-07:00

Been so many lately my blog is flooded with tunes.

Live it up right? School (substituting) and my second masters degree (special education this go 'round) start very very soon.

Musical Interlude The Twentieth

2011-08-14T13:26:00.000-07:00

Slow death is what we can expect
Strike will have just this one effect
Condemned to capital punishment
By the nuclear sword of Damocles

Miracle Mile "I think it's the insect's turn"

2011-08-10T20:39:00.000-07:00

Julie: All those chances, I mean ...

Harry: Hey, hey, hey! Don't think about it.

Julie: Oh, God. Hell. It's hell out there now isn't it?

Harry: Just blot it out.

Julie: If you weren't in here with me ... that would be hell. People are going to help each other won't they? I mean rebuild things. The survivors, I mean.

Harry: I think it's the insect's turn.

Julie: Oh ... all your life you think you have time to do everything ... and then it's just ...

Saw this movie was free on demand earlier today and just had to give it a go. Who cares that I own it right? I didn't feel like standing up and putting it in my DVD player when it was right there at the push of a button.

The movie plays like the most twisted version of that old kid's game 'telephone' ever. And it starts with an actual phone call. The only person who knows for sure what was said during the call thought it was a prank caller. There's several points where I found myself wondering if it was true or not as well. I know there were several times when Harry was thinking 'Oh. Shit. What have I started?'

It's the mix of that kid's game with just the slightest dash of the Cassandra syndrome that makes this film so great. Harry knows KNOWS that the missiles are on the way but very few people exept the wingnuts will believe him. It's enough to leave anyone doubting their own sanity.

Anyhow, it was just as great this time as was when I first watched it years ago. As I was telling my friend Megaton it starts off slowly but by the time it's over you're all white knuckles. If you've not seen it before watch it. Now. If you've seen it, well, you should give it another go.

You'll need a hug ... indeed.

The Shade of the Moon by Susan Beth Pfeffer

2011-08-01T12:04:00.000-07:00

After many (many) months of wheedling and asking plaintively, Susan Beth Pfeffer has agreed to continue the Moon Trilogy (now named the Moon Saga, winky emoticon) with a fourth Moon Book. Sue, being a Very Nice Person, has been giving all of us Apocalyptic Junkies a look behind the curtain at her blog.

Over the past week or so she's gone through many trials and (dare I say?) tribulations. Anyhow the latest episode involved some fruit flies. In her latest post she refered to these as being a 'symphony of difficulty'. Well Susan it could always be a Symphony of Destruction.

I give you said symphony:

The Infection by Craig DiLouie

2011-07-28T00:03:00.000-07:00

'The sun was rising over a smoking America and its first rays provided a dim red light in the bedroom.'

Centipede Infestation from Nintendo

2011-07-26T21:03:00.000-07:00

Remember that old video game from the dusty recesses of your childhood? You know, the one in the back of the pizza parlor. Remember? It was in between the Operation Wolf and the cockpit version of Star Wars. Remember now? Yes, I'm talking about that arcade classic; Centipede. It had a giant trackball and you just held down the fire button for all you were worth.

Well friends, it seems that it has had a rebirth. An update if you will. I never knew that Centipede was an apocalyptic game at all. Apparently though it was/is. Or at least its update is.

This comes from Nintendo:

Twelve years after a nuclear war, the world has turned into an uninhabitable wasteland with mutant insects and humanity holding onto survival in outposts hidden from the poisonous air and killer Centipedes. This Fall, Nintendo fans can become humanity's only hope for survival as Atari, one of the world's most recognized publishers and producers of interactive entertainment, and developer WayForward re-imagine the legendary video game franchise Centipede for a new generation of gamers with Centipede: Infestation.

"Centipede: Infestation modernizes one our most popular brands for Nintendo's youthful audience," said Jim Wilson, President and CEO of Atari S.A. "This game and other games to follow, further define Atari's strategy to build upon our library of celebrated IP and reimagine them for next generation game platforms."

Centipede: Infestation is a post-apocalyptic action experience that features run-n-gun shooting style gameplay with tower defense-style objects, paying homage to the original Centipede while bringing the brand into the 21st century. Players assume the role of an orphaned teenager hero named Max as he trudges through the wasteland, fighting off giant bugs. During Max's travels he encounters a young teen named Maisy who possesses a collection of seeds that hold the secret to bringing plant life back to the wasteland. Max and Maisy join forces to grow these gardens and protect the last natural resources on earth.

Players will be swarmed by mutated spiders, beetles, grubs, caterpillars, moths, and boss insects across the game's expansive world of seven environments and 40 stages. To defeat these mutant species and restore mankind, players will have to use an array of weaponry - Lightning Orb Gun, Nuke Cannon, Freezethrower, Mine Launcher, and more - as well as power-ups to fight through the invasions.

Like the toadstool of the original Centipede game, each insect has a unique defensive object that it can leave behind, as a 'special' variation. These defensive objects are short-lived combat tools that distract, attack, or block insect assaults during battle.

Additionally, the game allows players to team up with friends to fight off even more bugs with 2 player co-op multiplayer features. Nintendo 3DS players will be able to take advantage of unique StreetPass features that enable them to uniquely share content between passing Nintendo 3DS users. Centipede: Infestation for Nintendo 3DS will also feature gooey 3D visuals and ad-hoc multiplayer for 2 player co-op.

For more information, please log onto http://www.atari.com/.

And here's a small taste of game play. For the record, I'd have liked to see more ruins.

Foster the People Helena Beat

2011-07-22T16:45:00.000-07:00

When I'm in the car with the wife she doesn't go in for the insane, crazy crust that I enjoy she's more for mild and mellow stuff. Things that you may find on The 20 on XM. One of the bands that is in high rotation on that station is Foster the People. They're not so bad really. Sorta catchy in fact. Their song Pumped Up Kicks in particular is a real 'Toe-Tapper'

If you think that

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, outrun my gun.
All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet."

was a little violent, you've seen nothing yet.

Here's the latest from Foster the People.

I give you Helena Beat. Watch for the dead cat and the pig's head. Choice!

They describe the video as:

Post-apocalyptic, ‘Lord of the Flies’ meets ‘Mad Max,’ so, it’s a bunch of kids, and they kidnap us and take us into this warehouse, and there’s a really crazy twist at the end. But it’s super-visual, and it’s a mixture of really, like, bizarre circumstances — it’s dark, but it’s also pretty tongue-in-cheek and fun.

Enjoy!

UPDATE!

A little behind the scenes action here:

Even more choice!

Book Clubs and Coupons and Zombies, Oh My!

2011-07-22T16:36:00.000-07:00

(re-posted from megaton.us)

OK, technically, there are no zombies involved in this post, but "infected" had too many syllables, and the infected are close enough to zombies anyway. Or are they?

That's one of the topics that's likely to come up as we discuss the next official Post-Apocalyptic Book Club selection, The Infection, by Craig DiLouie.

It's been a while since we've had a book club discussion, but we've had several requests to start one up again, and the folks at Permuted Press made it easy for us to choose a book by offering readers a 20% discount on an ebook version of The Infection from Smashwords.

The Infection takes place as one in five people collapse screaming before falling into a coma. Three days later, the Infected awake with a single purpose: spread the Infection. A small group—a cop, teacher, student, reverend—team up with a military crew to survive. But at a refugee camp, what’s left of the government will ask them to accept a dangerous mission back into the very heart of Infection.

So if you want to get in on the fun, first head over to the Smashwords page for The Infection, and use coupon code VW57R (that's a V and then a W). But the code expires on August 5th, so don't put it off.

Then join us in the Book Club section of The Post-Apocalyptic Forums (forum registration is not necessary for the book club). We'll have separate threads set up for different sections of the book so that you can read at your own pace, and discuss just what you've read, but still not be spoiled by others who have read further than you.

And Craig DiLouie has said that he'll stop by the forum himself to see how the discussion is going, and to contribute what he can.

The coupon expires in two weeks, but those of us who've already read the book will start up the discussions right away, so feel free to join us anytime.

Theme song for a blog

2011-07-07T11:48:00.001-07:00

Yesterday when I took my three-hour-drive to a job interview (that I think I bombed, but you know time will tell), I grabbed a random stack of CDs to listen to because the radio in the car I was driving doesn't work ... and things and stuff and junk. Also while I was driving I'd grab a CD from the top of the stack and plug it in. It was on one of those random CDs that I stumbled on the perfect theme song for this blog.

And yes. Before you ask it was on the second Gray's Anatomy soundtrack. It's the message though ... the message.

see also:

Vacation Commercial

2011-06-29T08:52:00.000-07:00

Last vacation it was an epic tire commercial that I found to be particularly amusing. This week I find myself in the Napa Valley of California (for beer, why else would I be here?) and witness to yet another very odd commercial. This time for Toshiba. Yes it's real; I saw it just last night.

Food for thought

2011-06-23T17:49:00.001-07:00

Is the song Stayin' Alive by The BeeGees (The Brothers Gibb) in fact apocalyptic in nature? Based on the lyrics and the video, I say 'Yes'.

"Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin', people,
Stayin' alive, stayin' alive."

Wastelander .... you know you want to cover this.

Comments Welcome.

Apocalypse City

2011-06-09T18:01:00.001-07:00

While I was chillin' in the PA chat room (as is my wont) a user I'd never seen before stopped by to say howdy. He asked us to log into Apocalypse City. My regular readers will remember this. That's Apocalypse City in a nutshell. A war of all against all. The site does want you to update your flash player so don't let that freak you out or anything.

A screen cap to whet your appetite:

My in game handle is fear. See you on the inside.

In which Fear goes on vacation

2011-06-01T12:43:00.000-07:00

Just got back last night from our annual Memorial Day vacation to California. The wife and I go every year to visit her best friend. She lives in O'Neals, that's pretty close to geographic center of the state. It is closer however to 'The Middle of Goddamn Nowhere, California'. This photo is of the marker and shows the compass rose. The blue spot is the exact center of the state.

Another fun fact about this area is that there old buildings around. One such dilapidated building I ran across was an old 'Garden Shed'. It came complete with a number of rusty chains, a couple chainsaws and old lawnmowers as well as a few toolbags:

As I told Megaton: You know you're playing die2nite too much when you discover an old garden shed and your first response is 'YES! Chainsaw -fistpump-

On the trip (as always) I bring a number of books. This trip I brought the book I am reading now (Without Warning) and a book of short stories (Wastelands, Stories of the Apocalypse), to sort of fill in, if I got bored with the other. Anyhow I was reading in the car on the way to somewhere or other a story called The People of Sand and Slag by Paolo Bacigalupi. That last link goes to the full text of the story. I'll wait 'till you finish then move on ....

The short story reads kind of like the polar twin to A Boy and His Dog by Harlan Ellison (not the polar opposite of ... because polar and opposite are synonyms. Better is an antonym: polar and twin do nicely.)

The story it is most similar (twin) to is Something Passed By by Robert R. McCammon (Link goes to full text ... I'll wait ... again).

But that's not why I'm writing about The People of Sand and Slag. I can't be the only one who has been reading and listening to the radio when the word they are reading is said on the radio or is in the song. When I was reading Sand and Slag it happened for the first time ever. Not just the single word sung and read simutaniusly, the entire sentence I was reading was in the song that was playing. The one sentence (and the following one as well) also sort of sum up the feeling of the short story. 'If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?' It's by Sheryl Crow:

That's all I have to say about that.

Every time I go to O'Niels I pass through Turlock. It just so happens to have a Costco that supplies us with cheap gas. It is also home to the Tulock Killdozer. Well that's what I've always called it anyhow. Each time I've passed it I've wanted to stop and check it out. Then inevitably I just tell myself 'next time' and continue on the way.

Not this time. I made it a point to stop. I had assumed that it was just one those giant roadside attraction type things like the giant ball of yarn or a rodent of unusual size. It was even better.

The Turlock Killdozer is a giant bulldozer. Big and stuff.

Front view:

Back View:

From the side:

That's right. That's me your humble blogger there in the photo. You may not be able to tell from the picture but let me assure you I felt like a giant asshat. 'Why?', you may ask. Well because the 'Killdozer' is, in actual fact, an office building for United Equipment.

You can imagine my shock when I opened the door to the thing, expecting a gift shop or something, and found a rather normal, ordinary office building inside. I asked if I could go upstairs and look out the window. The guy who greeted me had no problem showing me around.

At the top of the stairs I was met with a sight I had TOTALLY not expected. He opened a door so I could look out the window as I had asked and I was greeted with a fully functioning Man Cave in what would have been the cab of the Killdozer. RIGHTEOUS!

I am not the only one who has been stunned by what the Killdozer turned out to be.

Ripley (of Believe It Or Not Fame) was taken aback by it:

It's been featured in newspaper comics:

Magazine articles have been even been written about the Killdozer:

So I guess I shouldn't feel so bad about about thinking the Killdozer was an ordinary roadside attraction as it has fooled so many. But I felt like a jackass anyhow. My wife's laughter didn't help much.

So that's it. A great vacation topped off by a healthy dose of embarrassment. What more can you ask for huh?

Drinking in the Rapture: Or what would Harold Camping quaff?

2011-05-22T09:47:00.000-07:00

@CGclimateChange of Twitter and Jessica Gelt of The Los Angeles Times ask that age old question: If yesterday was really the last day, if instead of Harold Camping just making a giant jackass out of himself, if what happened had more in common with the movie Last Night instead of fizzle, what then would have been Harold Camping's last drink of choice?

I would suggest that he open up a nice bottle of Ommegeddon Ale from Ommegang Brewery in Cooperstown, NY:

This beer was pretty good. It's not my normal choice of beverage. I usually go for a brew with a bit more hop flavor.

The beer itself here.

It was expensive. The 22 oz. bottle set me back $13.99. I was expecting some bottled magic here. When I got it home I unwrapped the foil, twisted off the wire basket and carefully popped the cork that held the beer pressurized.

Now I don't have a snifter to pour it into (I guess this what is required to get the full effect of the aroma). If any of you wish to purchase me one feel free to let me know. I only come equipped with a set of four pilzner glasses. I made them do. With the glass I didn't get a whole lot of hop aroma.

The color was golden. The head was stark white and very creamy.

There was some sediment but as a homebrewer I'm used to that and left the last half ounce or so in the bottle. The clarity of the brew was not impeded by the yeasty fallout.

The taste. It had a fruity quality. Sweet. I go for beers that are extremely hoppy and excoriate your pallet. This one (although it was a fine tasting beverage) is not what I drink. So your millage my vary.

Harold Camping: Pop the cork. Quaff the drink. Bet you'll find it enjoyable. And the expense I mentioned earlier? You wont have to worry about it will you? You old coot. Plenty of fools gave you everything they have.

Final thought: the bookshelves of doom has had a soundtrack for awhile, as of today it has an official beverage as well.

Without Warning by John Birmingham

2011-05-18T12:38:00.000-07:00

"I reckon the universe, or merciful Allah or The Great Pumpkin or whatever, sneezed and blew the good ol' US of A right out it's arse, which as we've seen, a lot pf people think of as A Good Deal. But me, I reckon it means we're about three days away from a Hobbesian fucking meltdown."

Fifi's blank look spoke volumes for a for education that ended when she was only thirteen years old.

"Thomas Hobbes, darling," explained Jules. "A Brit. He invented the idea of the violent clusterfuck, with everyone fighting each other. Like a Jackie Chan movie. Or a cagewrestling free-for-all on the telly. You know, Smackdown or Spankdown or whatever it's called."

I'm back

2011-03-23T16:08:00.000-07:00

with the best commercial ever.

The irony here? The only time I've seen this was with my feet propped up at my uncle's house in HAWAII. HA.

further updates as events warrant.

Anticlimactic In Comparison, Ain't It?

2010-12-20T16:12:00.000-08:00

Well five weeks in. Needs some touch up. Feels just a little small now though.

Ah well ... there's always my right arm right?

It was my idea first.

2010-12-20T13:03:00.000-08:00

Well maybe.

Ladies and gentlemen I present an Ebola Tattoo that is far more righteous (and quite a bit more ballsy, expensive, uncoverable, painful, attention-grabbing ... ect.) than mine.

It's a damn shame he chose a star for his wrist. I'd've gone for a fallout symbol, perhaps a skull. Ehhh, no accounting for taste is there?

Die2nite, you are a cruel, cruel mistress

2010-12-19T08:47:00.000-08:00

So. Show of hands here folks. How many have wondered where I've gone? Why I dropped out of sight all the sudden? I guess I could give all sorts of paltry and untruthful reasons. It wasn't because I've been expending large amounts of energy at my job (although I have; I recently landed a long term sub-gig at a local preschool working with nonverbal, autistic youngsters). It wasn't because I suddenly started reading a whole bunch (well, because I simply haven't). Finally, it's not because I been sucked into any sort of show on the TV Box and have been unable to extricate myself from it (because the TV Box just isn't my thing, I do enjoy watching it whilst I spend time with my lovely wife though).

The fault rests on the shoulders of Megaton and Talenos. Megaton gave my e-mail to the developers of die2nite, but it was Talenos who rode in with an invite code when I didn't jump in soon enough.

I've spent the last three weeks or so (probably longer) completely and thoroughly addicted to scavenging in the wasteland, fending off zombies while scavenging and building defenses in town with the items I've wrested from the clammy grip of the shambling siafu.

It hasn't all been glory and roses for me either. Bad stuff happens, but death is not the end. And every once in a while the leader The Walkers of the Wasteland (my coalition) writes a very nice piece of flash fiction about our trials and posts it in the 'World Forums'. What follows is one such:

Thorgrimm scanned the horizon one final time.

"Where the hell are you two?" he muttered to himself, worry gnawing at his soul.

He looked once again at the timepiece he used, and knew all was lost.

The hot coal in the pit of his gut told him what he had to do, for the good of the town he had to sacrifice Fear and Tinted Grey.

"I failed you two. I should have told you not to venture out to that location. Hopefully, in our next lives you can forgive my inept leadership."

He gave one last furtive glance out over the wastelands, closed the gates, turned and walked back to his tent. Not a word escaping his grim visage.

***

Once the attack had subsided Thor knew what he had to do. He was not going to let his friends wander around as one of the restless dead.

Thorgrimm headed for the bank where he withdrew three batteries to equip his batt gun. Not a person said a word. They knew what was being done, and secretly they hoped that if they died someone would care enough about them to end their undead lives.

He arrived at the gate, paused, and opened them and proceeded out into the wastes. Almost immediately he saw a zack shambling his way.

Without looking in the direction of the thing he raised his weapon and put a battery into the walking corpse's skull.

He opened the chamber of the weapon, inserted a fresh batt and began to walk west, towards where he knew his friends were located.

There were only two zacks located in the general direction and the gaunt looking man headed west without giving the shambling dead another glance.

When Thor arrived in the area that Fear and Tinted Grey had died he saw them almost immediately. Whether it was karma or not, they seemed to notice him too.

His heart was breaking as he noticed the strips of flesh that was missing from the bodies of his friends. Seeing them in this condition wrenched his heart in two.

He waited for them to get closer before firing. Fear arrived first, due to the fact his legs were not missing as much flesh as Tinted's were.

"I'm sorry my friend. Maybe in our next life I will be a bit wiser and anticipate things just a bit better." The thing just groaned and shambled forward.

Suddenly the pistol shot upward and lined up with Fear's forehead. There was only a moment's hesitation before Thor pulled the trigger, putting Fear to rest for the final time.

He popped open the chamber and inserted a new batt as he waited for Tinted Grey to shamble forward.

"Tinted, you could always put a smile on the faces of the team, no matter how bad we felt. I'm sorry I failed you." With that the pistol shot up and fired, ending Tinted Grey's membership in the family of the undead.

Thor did an about face and began to head back to the town, gathering up resources on his way back. The process of survival continued.

As a review, I'd say this game is not really a 'massively online role playing' one such as WOW. It does drop you in town with 39 other people. Some of these are folks like myself, been at the game long enough to know the ins and outs. Others are dropping into their first town in their first life. They haven't the slightest clue what's going on and either get stuck in the desert or build something stupidly and get shunned. It's a learning curve. My first couple of towns I had no clue what I was doing and didn't last the night. But as I got better I picked up a couple of hard and fast rules that will help you survive (my record is 10 days).

Rule the First: Build a tent. Never build a hovel, unless you have permission from the town. You don't need one anyway. Hovel builders are selfish players. You will be shunned. Ask in the forums before you take this action.

This brings me to the next rule:

Rule the Second: After you have built your tent, opened your Citizen's Welcome Pack along with the doggy bag, collect your water. Then read the town forum. Post in them. Say hi. Make friends with your fellow townspeople. The forum is where you ask about hovels, taking items from the bank and general advice. Most importantly, the forum is the town's radio. It is where you call for help if you get stuck in the desert.

This brings me to the next rule:

Rule the Third: Keep track of your Action Points. When roaming through the wastes make sure you have two AP for every one movement in the desert. It needs to be a two way trip. Make sure you know where the Point Of No Return is and don't cross it. Keep an eye on the map so you are sure.

That brings me to the last rule:

Rule the Last: On you first day use your original AP and go three zones out. Search there and remain until your rucksack is filled. Return to the town and give everything to the bank. After the first day NEVER leave town without a plan and a group of people. On day two it can be just you and another citizen. After day two however groups of four or five become necessary.

Now some helpful hints: 1: Drink your water ration before you eat (and if at all possible reserve your food for an emergency). If you go the other way you'll dehydrate and die. 2: Build a Workshop in your town. Do this first, trust me. 3: If you are ever unsure about what to do or not to do, ask on the town forum. They are normally a nice bunch.

Interested in playing? If so me a favor and use this code: http://www.die2nite.com?ref=fear

If I see you around I'll give a shout out and an invite to The Association.

Thank you and good luck out there.

Plague Zone by Jeff Carlson

2010-12-19T08:39:00.000-08:00

The land transformed. Gas stations and truck lots appeared first. Warehouses. A car dealership. A quarry. There were homes, too, and freeway billboards and an endless row of great metal trusses supporting electrical lines. Everything looked as if it had been lifted and thrown. The buildings sagged. Even the freeway buckled and split. Ash covered the world, robbing it of any color.

Ebola Tattoo Week One

2010-11-27T23:47:00.000-08:00

So the wrist tattoo was an ok idea. White ink doesn't show up all that well so it'll be difficult to see (that's just fine as since I begin a long term sub gig monday, preschool). Most of the (awful) initial scab fell off today.

It looks ok so far. I'll have to wait until it heals even more (two weeks?)to be able to tell if it needs any touch up. I'm thinking it will though.

More updates as events warrant.

Musical Interlude The Nineteenth

2010-11-26T01:12:00.000-08:00

the lights have gone out before
we thought they would
and our friends have left us where we once stood
together, through dark nights and trials, it's true
we must face our fates alone

the summer it burns and the winter it freezes
in our hands we hold everything we believe in
we survive, we have everything we need
and there's nowhere left to go

the hope is the past, it's not ours to own
the ghosts of our past, in shackles they moan
forever, in darkness, broken-hearted, true
they must face their fates alone

scavengers pick the bones of the world
the righteous reduced to beggars and cursed
and never, in trial or verse, will they learn
they must face thier fates alone

My first tattoo ...

2010-11-19T20:00:00.000-08:00

would have to be of an apocalyptic nature.

That's right. It's the ebola virus.

Fun fact the first: my artist said this was his first microscopic tattoo
Fun fact the second: he also said this was his first all white ink tattoo

that is all

Die2nite

2010-11-19T05:33:00.000-08:00

This game is currently in beta testing and is only playable by invitation. Premise is you are a member of a town of 40 people. During the day you scavenge and build your town. Every night at 22:30 (or so) the zombie horde lurking outside attack.

So far I'm enjoying it. The only problem is that you start the game with 6 action points. If you get water and food that will give 12 more. You can use 18 action points in about 5 minutes. If you're outside the gates when that happens you're meat. Don't let it happen. The game looks very interesting but if you explore too much it's the end of you.

Got your interest peeked? Want an invite? I got four.

HG5JUYUZ (used)
3HW1VCEB (used)
CGS5SL14 (used)
AYZ5Q9TN (used)

Sponsor: Fear

First come first served. Just let me know in the comments so I change their status. And remember KEEP TRACK OF YOUR AP!

Musical Interlude The Eighteenth

2010-11-16T16:26:00.000-08:00

'Too bad they couldn't see this lethal energy
And now the final scene, a global darkening'

Of Bug Out Bags and Hatchet by Gary Paulson

2010-11-10T08:55:00.000-08:00

My post about Hatchet the other day made me hunger to re-read Hatchet. Not only is it a damn fine book, the bag Brian finds in the plane in Chapter 19 is a pretty good example of the basic equipment you'd need for a Bug Out Bag. Or at least I think so anyway.

'Treasure.

Unbelievable riches. He could not believe the contents of the survival pack.

The night before he was so numb with exhaustion he couldn't do anything but sleep. All day in the water had tired him so much that, in the end, he had fallen asleep sitting against his shelter wall, oblivious to even the mosquitoes, to the night, to anything. But with false grey dawn he had awakened, instantly and begun to dig in the pack - to find amazing wonderful things.

There was a sleeping bag - which he hung to dry over his shelter roof on the outside - and foam sleeping pad. An aluminum cookset with four little pots and two frying pans; it actually had a fork and knife and spoon. A waterproof container with matches and two small butane lighters. A sheath knife with a compass in the handle. As if a compass would help him, he thought, smiling. A first-aid kit with bandages and tubes of antiseptic paste and small scissors. A cap with CESSNA across the front in large letters. Why a cap? he wondered. It was adjustable and he put it on immediately. A fishing kit with four coils of line, a dozen small lures, and hook and sinkers.

Incredible wealth. It was like all the holidays in the world, all the birthdays there were. He sat in the sun by the doorway where he had dropped the night before and pulled the presents - as he thought of them - out one at a time to examine them, turn them in the light, touch them and feel them with his hands and eyes.

Something that at first puzzled him. He pulled out what seemed to be the broken-off bulky stock of a rifle and he was going to but it aside, thinking it might be for something else in the pack, when he shook it and it rattled. After working at it a moment he found the butt of the stock came off and inside there was a barrel and magazine and action assembly, with a clip and a full box of fifty shells. It was a .22 survival rifle - he had seen one once in the sporting goods store where he went for bike parts - and the barrel screwed onto the stock. He had never owned a rifle, never fired one, but he had seen them on television, of course, and after a few moments figured out how to but it together by screwing the action onto the stock, how to load it and put the full clip of bullets into the action.

....

And then finally - the food.

It was all freeze-dried and in such quantity that he though, With this I could live forever. Package after package he took out, beef dinner with potatoes, cheese and noodle dinners, chicken dinners, egg and potato breakfasts, fruit mixes, drink mixes, dessert mixes, more dinners and breakfasts than he could count easily, dozens and dozens of them all packed in waterproof bags, all in perfect shape and when he had them laid against the wall in stacks he couldn't stand it and went through them again.'

So that looks to me like a nice basic Bug Out Bag. I think the sleeping bag and the food would be the most bulky items. I bet you could find a lightweight down type sleeping bag and if all the food was dehydrated it would be doable. Just my thoughts as I read the ending again is all.

Plague War by Jeff Carlson

2010-11-09T13:45:00.000-08:00

Ruth, Cam and Newcomb were miles beyond any hint of green. The plague had been catastrophic in this place. Even the weeds and hardy sagebrush were dead. All that stood were a few stubs of windswept roots. Several times they'd seen the desiccated remains of grass and wildflowers laid on the ground like stains, brittle and black. In the heat, the insects had been destroyed, which in turn condemned the reptiles and the vegetation. Lacking any balance whatsoever, the biosphere had tipped. The earth baked into powder and superheated the air.

The Apocalypse Now Burger

2010-11-08T07:35:00.000-08:00

'Each apocalyptic patty draws its strength from four cuts of meat: beef brisket, beef shortrib, pork belly and bacon ends.'

Plague Year by Jeff Carlson

2010-11-07T18:38:00.000-08:00

Ruth gazed all around, gripped by dark wonder.

The frozen traffic here surged only one way - west, toward the freeway, every car nosing into the next. They came up onto sidewalks. They diverted through parking lots and hedges and fences. They were full of stick shapes, and the crowded street itself had become the grave of hundreds, color-fast rags on yellowing bone, screaming jaws and eroded fingers, the skeletons of dogs and birds scattered among the human remains like strange half-grown monsters.

The Hunger Games, Battle Royale and Deus Ex Machina

2010-11-05T13:25:00.001-07:00

Once more it's excuse time. I know, I know been forever since an update. I have good reasons for this. The best is that I tackled The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins and that simply fired my thirst for more in a similar vein. So I started reading my Battle Royale manga series. I just finished it last night. I had really intended to do a retrospective of all three 'Hunger Games' books but as soon as I got just a couple chapters into Battle Royale I knew I had to do a comparison. So of course any update needed to wait until I had completed a three-part series and a fifteen part series. Long time in other words.

The other is that I've started back subbing. This year I've made a deal with myself that is different that last year's. Last year a rotten day with the lil' bastards equaled a day for me. No work just day drinking. This year's deal is different. A rotten day equals jeans and a t-shirt the next day and also that check is set aside for airfare and happy-fun-Hawaii time. An extraordinarily rotten day (only one so far) gets the same treatment but the check is cashed and not deposited. I'll be spending every penny of it on beers and Mai Tais on the beach if at all possible. I've been living seven and a half hours of hell everyday so I can have nine days in paradise. A decent trade I think.

So yeah, not much time to read or create new and fantastic posts. But plenty of time to punish my liver. You can see the dilemma right?

Alright. Now on to the show. From here on there will be spoilers. Big ones. Don't read the post any further if you've not read the complete Hunger Games trilogy, Battle Royale, Watership Down by Richard Adams, Hatchet by Gary Paulson, Death Got No Mercy by Al Ewing and Life As We Knew It by Susan Beth Pfeffer. Seriously, stop now.

When I picked up The Hunger Games I knew what I was in for. I'd heard about the series from other people. Also being a substitute teacher I've seen 'the kids' carrying these books like they carried Twilight or Harry Potter. I knew it was gold. I got the second one from http://www.paperbackswap.com/ (if you feel up to joining tell them I sent you when they ask 'Fear-Death-By-Water') I got The Hunger Games from the library sale in St. Helens Oregon just before I brewed the Dinty Moore (Wasteland) Stout. I had to wait still though. I mean I love reading post apocalyptic books but if I can get someone to send it to me for free? Hell no, I'm not going to pay for it. I had to wait a little while for the book but I'm a patient sort. Then came the glorious day when I got the e-mail telling me it was on the way. I took on the Hunger Games series like I took on Harry Potter. All at once.

The books are in a distant future type setting after some sort of global cataclysm. What remains of the United States is divided into 13 districts (like The Original Colonies?) then is regroupes and coalesces around 'The Capital' and finally lead by a dictator. Perhaps a benevolent one at the start. All is pretty good until there is an uprising and civil war. The Capital is victorious at the end and as punishment completely obliterates the 13th District and sets up a lottery system. The 'winner' of the lottery (one boy and one girl) are sent to an arena and are forced to fight to the death. The killing cannot stop until there only a single child remaining.

The book follows Katniss. And on the day of the drawing it's expected that it will be her who gets chosen. But it's not it's her little sister instead. Even though it's her first time at the lottery, even though she has her name in only once, it's still her. Katniss utilizes a little used play. She takes her little sister's place. The male who's chosen turns out to Peeta who Katniss had pretty much ignored but who had a giant crush on her pretty much forever. So he knows that to survive he'll have to kill her or he could be magnanimous and allow her to kill him. Either way he knows he'll never see her again.

That's the basic set up. 12 districts and two kids from each. 24 kids enter one kid leaves. Thunderdome to power of four and a half. But filmed and broadcast to the entire population. For entertainment. It's a lot like a mix of both Steven King's The Long Walk and The Running Man. As the book plays out you can feel the ultimate climax coming. Katniss and Peeta both going to be forced to do battle. It's also clear that Katniss will be victorious. The only question remaining is how graphic, bloody and violent will it be?

Then it happens: Collins cheats. Just like Gary Paulson did in Hatchet: Brian finds the radio transponder int he plane crash and gets rescued just before winter sets in. Just like Richard Adams did in Watership Down: After Hazel is grievously wounded in a cat attack Richard writes himself into the story to rescue the stricken rabbit. Adams is not the only author to ever use the 'write myself in the story' tactic. Stephen King does it for eye-rolling length in The Dark Tower series and even Al Ewing gives it a shot in Death Got No Mercy (although I'll give him a pass on all of chapter 18, but only because Cade was on serious drugs). Even Susan Beth Pfeffer
in Life As We Knew It. When Miranda goes on her death march to town so her mom wont have to look at her withered corpse, she finds that food is being distributed. She is saved from starvation at the very last moment when she notices a brightly colored piece of paper. The difference the separates the previous books? All those books are great in spite of the trickery.

Sure you can give all these cheats big fancy names like deus ex machina and say it's a solid and viable literary device and that even the Greeks used it to get out of tight jams in their plays. But for me? It just derails the whole book when used with too heavy a hand. Collins cheated by having President Snow proclaim (when there was still something like seven players remaining) if two tributes from the same district survived at the end both lived. I wanted to jump up and shout 'HE DIDN'T GET OUT OF THE COCKADOODIE CAR!' Right then I knew I'd been robbed of any sort of heart wrenching climax.

As more characters die it drops down to just three. After a brutal death it's just two. Of course it's Katnis and Peeta. This is the part the whole book has lead up to. But it's taken from me either because Collins is a wuss or because the publisher had a weak stomach. Either way it was a giant let down.

I continued to read the rest of the series but it just continued in a similar vein. I had thought that the real ending would be a showdown between President Snow and Katnis. I felt it all building, coming at me like a wave. But at the end the showdown was anticlimactic. Remember the day you lit the big firecracker? You touched the match to the fuse and then stepped back. The fuse smoked and sparked and went pretty fast. Then it slowed down. Seemed to stop. But you knew that it would still have that giant payoff. So you waited. And waited. When the fuse hit the firework you expected ... no demanded the explosion. What you got instead was more akin to an overgrown sparkler. A roman candle at best. Remember your disappointment so keen it almost felt like betrayal? That's the feeling I got from The Hunger Games Trilogy. After a year of waiting just a big fizzle and a giant nothing.

Around the same time I was hearing about The Hunger Games, I was also hearing some chatter about a book called 'Battle Royale'. Talk was it's pretty similar. After I finished The Hunger Games my appetite had been whetted and so I dove in. Let me tell up front here. Everything you wanted from The Hunger Games happens in Battle Royale. Koushun Takami pulls no punches.

This novel pits an entire class of ninth graders against each other. 48 total students. The rules are simple. You are fitted with an explosive collar any attempt to leave the island and the collar detonates. Try to remove the collar and it detonates. Enter (or fail to evacuate) a danger zone and the collar detonates. Here's the real kicker: failure to have a single student death in a 24 hour period and the collars all detonate simultaneously.

So those are the rules. The class is a random group (or are they?) who are drugged and taken to an island. The island if fitted with cameras and satellite observation. When they get there the students are all issue a duffel bag containing food, water, a randomly assigned weapon (from a fork all the way to an AK-47) and other items of interest. Then they are sent to kill to the last person.

Some differences between the two book are that the Head of School is the 'bad guy' and that there are more children. It's also worse because many are dating each other and have been together since they began school. Many are best friends in other words.

It's the differences that make the book better than the The Hunger Games however. The ending is extremely satisfying. It ends just how you want it to. There are no tricks no fancy camera work. The author makes you care about many different characters and isn't afraid to kill them off in gruesome ways.

Also it made more sense too. The whole event was broadcast in The Hunger Games and the whole time I was watching it I kept wondering why the rest of the world wasn't outraged by it. Live video of children killing each other? Bets placed on it? I was wondering where the rest of the planet was. That question is answered in Battle Royale.

In Battle Royale there was plenty shocks and lots of carnage but unlike The Hunger Games not once did I pull back and think 'how the hell is that possible?' There was a fascinating dichotomy playing out in The Hunger Games. On the one hand the residents of the districts were eking out a just-above-starvation lifestyle while the residents in the Capital had glass roads and Star Trek style food simulators. They could genetically modify insects into weapons. They even had cloaking devices for their hovercraft. Magic in other words. Some of it was so outlandish and strange that it interrupted my suspension of disbelief. The final offensive against The Capital at the end of Mockingjay was frankly unbelievable, headshakingly out-of-control. Battle Royale did none of that.

That's it folks. If you were disappointed and/or bored with The Hunger Games give Battle Royale a go. Seriously, if you've read The Hunger Games you owe it to yourself. It's an undiscovered gem.

An apcalyptic birthday/christmas list

2010-11-01T17:12:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again. I get a year older and relatives begin to hint about suggestions as to what I might enjoy seeing wrapped in pretty paper. There are a couple things that would make The Bookshelves Of Doom just a little bit sparklier. So here goes (I'll even make it simple and clickable):

Books:

The Killing Moon by Rod Glenn
Canterbury 2100: Pilgrimages in a New World
LAST by Mike Rouse-Deane
End of Days: An Apocalyptic Anthology
End of Days 2: An Apocalyptic Anthology
Survivors by Terry Nation
Wet Work - The Definitive Edition by Philip Nutman, Douglas, E. Winter
Noise by Darin Bradley
The Walk by Lee Goldberg
Metro 2033 by Dmitry Glukhovsky
The High King of Montival (Change, Bk 4) by S. M. Stirling

Movies

The Road
The Book of Eli
Battle Royale

Comics

Stephen King's The Stand Vol. 1: Captain Trips
Stephen King's The Stand Vol. 2: American Nightmares

File this under "Random Nattering" ...

2010-10-26T20:18:00.000-07:00

because it's my Halloween playlist.

1. Misfits - Halloween

2. Donavan - Season of the witch

3. Matthew Sweet - Devil with the green eyes

4. Peter And The Test Tube Babies - Zombie creeping flesh

5. Wenesdayday 13 - The Ghost Of Vincent Price

6. Groovie Ghoulies -(She's My) Vampire Girl

7. G.B.H.- Lycanthropy

8. Demented Are Go! - Zombie Stalk

9. 45 Grave - Partytime

10. Godless Wicked Creeps - Vamps

11. Samhain-November's Fire

12. Bloodrock D.O.A.

13. Groovie Ghoulies - Graveyard Girlfriend

14. Alien Sex Fiend-R.I.P.

15. Chixdiggit! - Chupacabras

16. The Damned - Thanks For The Night

17.Type O Negative - Everyone I Love Is Dead

18. Wednesday 13 - Haddonfield

Musical Interlude The Seventeenth

2010-10-15T17:16:00.000-07:00

'And free my lil weezy
And lets just get right
Young Money, Cash Money in the building
Lets go the World ends tonight'

Hip Hop. Again. Don't worry this doesn't mean I've found a new love for Jay Sean. It just happened to be on The Twenty on XM as went to work this morning when I swtiched from Wastelander. Heard about half the song then moved to Howard. Was where I was going in the first place. But felt it had a certain panache. You'll see what I mean.

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

2010-10-04T17:20:00.001-07:00

"But mockingjays were never a weapon," said Madge. "They're just songbirds. Right?"

"Yeah, I guess so," I said. But it's not true. A mockingbird is just a songbird. A mockingjay is a creature the Capital never intended to exist. They hadn't counted on the highly controlled jabberjay having the brains to adapt to the wild, to pass on its genetic code, to thrive in a new form. They hadn't anticipated its will to live.

The Apocalyptic Subbing Gig

2010-10-04T16:57:00.000-07:00

I knew it was going to be a fantastic day when I walked into the classroom this morning and was greeted by this:
It was sitting there on the desk. With a bookmark in it. At chapter 5. I read the plan for the day. After the first class (if there was time) I was to read them chapter 5 aloud ... or have another student read it. This teacher is reading The Last Book In The Universe as the whole class book. She even has study questions she wrote.

I guess it had to happen eventually. A teacher who is into dystopian lit as much as me. I'm thinking about giving these questions the 'There Will Come Soft Rains' treatment but I may hold off till she's done. See'ns as that post gets more hits than any other post does. That's right I'm on to you guys. I just hope your teacher isn't.

An Apocalyptic Primer

2010-10-03T17:22:00.001-07:00

These are books that (in my opinion alone) are the best examples of the genera. This list is meant to give suggestions for books to read or purchase. It's not intended to be an exhaustive list. However should you want one look here. As to a definition of 'apocalyptic fiction'. I'll use Megaton's from The Post-Apocalyptic Forums: Post-Apocalyptic: Nuclear War, Pandemic, Economic Collapse, Natural Disaster, Alien Invasion, Machine Revolution, Global Warming, Cosmic Rays, Zombie Apocalypse, Astronomical Impact, Animal Revolt, Science Gone Wrong, or any combination of these. I'll try to include an example from each. Again my (admittedly) drunken opinion.

#1 The Stand by Stephen King

I'll start with the first apocalyptic book I read. Stephen King's The Stand. I've noticed that most people when listing their favorite book will normally put the first one they read at the top of the list. The Stand is both the first PA book I read and also my favorite. Also I am surprised to find out from time-to-time that there are apocalypse geeks who haven't heard of nor read The Stand. If this is you don't worry I won't spoil it. The basic premise of the book is a military project to engineer biological weapons has a breech. Its name was Project Blue. As the virus spread it was known by other names. The most common one being 'Captain Trips'. The disease was almost uniformly fatal. Only .06% of humanity survived.

After everyone who is going to get sick dies. The basic conflict of the book is one of Good vs Evil. The survivors all gravitate to either Randall Flagg (Evil) or to Mother Abigail (Good). While The Stand is my favorite book, I consider the portions when the survivors are regrouping and the denouement as my favorite parts.

Also the book has a couple of nifty little Easter eggs scattered around for the careful reader to discover. Most notable of these is Christine.

Remember this book is here because it is the first apocalyptic book I read. I understand I could have gone with several different choices for pandemic. Amongst these are Jack London's The Scarlet Plague and George R. Stewart's Earth Abides.

#2 The Brief History of the Dead by Kevin Brockmeir

The next book you really need to look into is The Brief History of the Dead by Kevin Brockmeir. The nugget that started this novel began with African tribal beliefs. Basically that humans can be divided into three groups: Those still alive on earth, the recently departed (remembered) (sasha), and the dead (forgotten) (zamani). When people die they are sasha while people are still alive who remember them. When the last person remembering them dies, they go to the zamani and are then recalled by name only.

Kevin envisions sasha as being a city. A very large city that is being added to constantly. As people die new rooms are added to apartment buildings and new houses get built. Residents of the city stay as long as there are people living on earth that still remember them well; their faces, their personalities, the actual sound of their voices. When all of the people who remember them live in the city, they vanish along with all their belongings, house and stuff.

The main action of the story centers an a massive populating of the city. Descriptions of entire new neighborhoods appearing overnight. This population explosion is followed quickly on its heels by a depopulation.

It's a quick and rather strange read.

#3 Vault of the Ages by Poul Anderson

This is the first 'far future' apocalypse book I read and also the first one that dealt with ancient artifacts left behind by 'before time' people. In this book the world ends in nuclear fire. It follows the whole 'Treasure of the Ancients' theme that runs in PA works like Jack Mcdevitt's Eternity Road (which reads like a sequel to The Stand), Walter M. Miller's A Canticle for Leibowitz and to a lesser degree in The Pelbar Cycle by Paul O.Williams.

This book centers on a farmer (who is somewhat intelligent) stumbling on a time capsule containing relics of the past. These relics are books and diagrams as well as scale models of fantastic machines that just might be able to send the society on a path back to its former greatness.

#4 Fire by Alan Rodgers

This is a fairly strange book in which everyone comes back to life and no one dies. Also everything as well. Fossils in the museum, cuts of meat in the grocery store, and all people in the all the cemeteries. Everything.

It all starts at a laboratory with a scientist who creates a bacteria that reanimates ancient life. The point to doing this is so science can study extinct creatures like trilobites. The only problem is that once the animal has been resurrected it is impossible to kill. The entire organism needs to be reduced to carbon. Fire, in other words, will permanently kill the reanimated creature. But nothing kills the bacteria.

Selling point is that it takes the book of Revelation and makes it plausible. In other words, if an ancient prophet saw the events in the book he/she might write the book of Revelation to explain it.

#5 Year Zero by Jeff Long

The general premise Year Zero is that a very nasty, super contagious, and uniformly fatal plague is unleashed. It spreads from the tiny island of Corfu in Greece and eventually spreads all across the globe and the last bastion for humanity turns out to be Los Alamos. It starts because Niko, the collector, liked to find artifacts and the best of these in his opinion were sealed vials. He broke them open a give the ol' sniffer sniff to the rarefied air of millennia past. But inside of a very intricate puzzle lies four vials filled with a nasty virus. It is invisible and as it kills you it erases you; both you and your memories.

The book this most reminded me of was The Dying by Leslie Horvitz. Mainly just the relentless onslaught of the virus and descriptions of deserted cities. I haven't read The Dying in a good long time but as I read it I kept thinking about how it reminded me of that book. Loves the part where the scientists were tracking the progress of the virus with satellites. Corpse gas being let off by deaths in the billions was a fantastic visual.

#6 Dark Advent by Brian Hodge

I have heard Swan Song equated with The Stand far too many times. It's simply wrong. Those two books are not really very similar. Even the basic conflicts of those two books are vastly different. The Stand is clearly Good (Mother Abigail) versus Evil (Randal Flagg) and in Swan Song it Life (Sue Wanda) Versus Death (The Man With The Scarlet Eye).

That being said Dark Advent is pretty much dead on The Stand. Has the vastly fatal diseases. Has the Good verses Evil conflict. Has characters meeting through dreams. Also a final battle at the end.

The one big difference? Way more violent and follows the evil character more. In other words less Boulder and more Vegas in a 'Stand' sense.

#7 Ice! by Arnold Federbush

This is a story of a new Ice Age. It features a climatologist as the main character. He's a book smart sort and gets help from another scientist who specialises in Arctic Peoples and customs. The story is told from the climatologist's perspective but it's the Arctic expert who steals the show. It's very similar to the movie The Day After Tomorrow. It has the same basic setting the same basic plot. It also features climate experts. The ending however is quite different. Well worth the time you'll spend reading it.

#8 What Niall Saw by Brian Cullen

This book is one of the bleakest (most bleak?) books I've read in a good long time. It's offered as the journal of boy who is seven years and seven days old as the book starts. He gets right into the meat of the story as well. The whole family is under the stairs with their dog (a wolfhound my personal favorite dog breed) because the bombs have fallen. Over the course of the story there are more bomb detonations which Niall describes as 'shakes'. Little by little his situation worsens. They deal with hunger (them and the dog), cabin fever from being sequestered in the closet under the stairs for weeks on end, and roaming scavengers looking for food. About 3/4 of the way into the book they make their escape. The ending stayed with me a very long time. It ranks with When the Wind Blows, Level 7, and On the Beach in terms of downer endings. If you haven't read it yet find it and do so.

#9 Barrett, Neal Jr. Through Darkest America

I don't know what caused the end in this book. I do know however that it centers on a very special type of ranch. In this brave new world they have thought of some pretty interesting plans to outwit hunger. And also forged some new and interesting social classes. Cannibal Cowboys? Gives a whole new meaning to cattle drive and rodeo. It'll take a strong stomach to make it through this one. Also a sequel that picks up the action right where this book ends and ties up all the loose ends.

#10 Motel of the Mysteries by David Macaulay

I'd have not even found this one of not for my mother-in-law. She's a teacher too. Or was before she retired. Anyhow one day she told me about this book she used to use when she taught an archeology unit. The point of the specific lesson was how sometimes professional archaeologists have to take a guess about the purpose and function of some of the things they find. How sometimes they can be wrong. Perhaps mostly wrong and never even knowing.

The deal with Motel of the Mysteries is that it's in the future. The world as we know it now ended because it got buried in its own trash. A future archaeologist stumbles upon a vast complex that has been untouched since the time of the great cataclysm. The descriptions of the items paired with the uses of them is pretty fantastic. The 'Alter of Worship' (to me anyhow) is the best one. But trust me they are all really great in their own right.

#11 Life As We Knew It by Susan Beth Pfeffer

This is the story of Miranda. She's an ordinary high school girl. Like many girls she keeps a journal. This book reads as her journal. All is great with her world until an asteroid is predicted to hit the moon. She is not worried about it though. In fact she is, at first, irritated by it. Her teachers use the looming disaster as an excuse to pile on the homework with not one, not two, but three essays about the moon.

May 18th... it happens. The moon is hit. Miranda and her family are outside reveling in the street in a party-like atmosphere. All is fun and games. The asteroid hits the moon so hard that its orbit moves much closer to the Earth. When the partiers notice this panic sets in. Now we all know the moon's gravity is what causes tides. So the first sign that all is not right is when coastal areas get flooded. After the flooding there are massive storms and earthquakes. Just when you think they can finally settle in for simple survival, volcanoes begin erupting bringing on an ice age.

#12 Skeletons by Al Sarrantonio

I think this book is best described as being a zombie novel. In a move that is reminiscent of 'Night of the Comet' and also 'Maximum Overdrive' the earth is bathed in strange space radiation. The effect is that everyone who's dead gets up. They're all animated skeletons with shimmering/ghostly flesh. Like all living dead they hate the living and immediately turn and kill.

Due to the space radiation the skin of the newly dead sluffs off and the skeleton rises. They can be be dispatched in the traditional way; a good blow to the head that shatters the skull will do it. A glowing high light of this work is Abraham Lincoln's vengeance against John Wilkes Booth.

#13 Plague Year by Jeff Carlson

Anyone else read Prey by Micheal Creighton and feel cheated? He set up a pretty good apocalyptic scenario there. Nanotech goes out of control and starts to turn on people. But Creighton turns out to be a giant wuss and pulls back from world annihilation.

This is not the case in Plague Year. It opens at a run and doesn't slow down. Nanotech has indeed been released. It's self-replicating and flesh eating. The creators have put in a kill switch that is activated at ten thousand feet. So the world is reduced to a series of high altitude islands. Features one of the best PA first lines ever. 'They ate Jorgensen first.'

And also you're in luck. It's a finished trilogy so no waiting.

#14 Dies The Fire by S. M. Stirling

Gasoline has been rendered useless. So has gunpowder and everything else. Even steam power is hampered. The only choice? Rip the leaf springs from the car and forge swords. Make some chain mail. Get medieval on their ass. That's how things work in The Emberverse. Are you Wiccan or a member of the SCA? You'll do just fine.

So anyhow if you want a modern day dark ages go for Dies The Fire. If you ignore the heavy Wiccan references you'll find a pretty great book. And if you're so inclined you can continue and read the whole (quite large) series. Also if you happen to be from the Pacific Northwest of The United States, you'll enjoy it more as it's set there (here). Gervais, Oregon with a castle? Sign me up!

#15 It’s Only Temporary by Eric Shapira

It’s Only Temporary is one of those rare fantastic books. It is just beyond words. The deal is that a giant asteroid is going to strike the Earth just off the coast of New Zealand. It’s going to hit so hard that it will kill everyone. There are some scientists who think that .00001 or .00002 of the human race will survive. The governments of the world knew about the asteroid for years but chose to keep the knowledge from everyone until there was only six weeks left. Some people keep working, some commit suicide. Everyone deals with the knowledge that the world will end in their own way.

The story reads as a journal of sorts told from Sean’s point of view. He chooses to spend the last six weeks of his life watching television, smoking pot, spanking the monkey almost constantly and also hanging out with his parents. On the final day though he decides to go looking for his girlfriend. So he says his final tearful goodbye to his mom and dad and sets out through a world that has no tomorrow, second thoughts, regrets or punishment.

This is by far one of the best books I’ve read … ever. Some trivia about the book. If you preordered it the book came autographed and with a bonus chapter called ‘Speaking of Butler’. I chose wisely and preordered. Well worth it. And the cover -- the asteroid/skull cover thing is pretty goddamn righteous too.

Lastly. The Afterblight Chronicles. A Series.

I'd be remise if I went without mentioning these books. I don't normally go in for series but on this one case I have to make an exeception. These books are GOLD. All of them. I'll open the cover start reading and before I know it half the night and the book are simultaniously gone.

From the publisher:

'The Blight arose from nowhere. It swept across the bickering nations like the End of Times and spared only those with a single fortuitous blood type. As the numbers thinned and societies crumbled, the survivors picked their way between silent streets and looked out on the squalid new order... and reconsidered their good fortune.'

One by Conrad Williams

2010-10-02T07:52:00.000-07:00

'Sometimes Jane looked in a direction where there were no people, no buildings, and it was like viewing a moonscape. The end of the world was desolate and grey. You couldn't see the coast of France. He thought maybe the rest of the world had dissolved into the oceans.'

The Robot Uprising Is On!

2010-09-28T10:34:00.000-07:00

I, for one, would like to be the first to give praise to our new robot overlords.

Dinty Moore Stout for you Wastelanders

2010-09-26T08:46:00.000-07:00

Whether you're an urban scavenger or desert dweller, everyone remembers the taste of the perfect food to ride out an apocalypse. Like it's namesake, this stout is both difficult to find and even harder to make. It's well worth the time you'll spend to do so, however.

Now, with this simple step-by-step recipe you too will be able to drink the stout that truly eats like a meal. Enjoy.

Grain Bill
22 pounds 2 row
2 pounds spelt
1 pound amaranth
1 pound quinoa
1¼ pounds wheat berries
1¼ pounds rye berries
1½ pounds old fashioned oatmeal
1 pound flaked barley
2 pounds roasted barley
1½ pounds Chrystal 150º
1 pound Black Patent Malt
2 pounds carapils
1½ pounds victory malt

Other Ingredients
2 Cups molasses
¾ pound of Rocket Java

Hops
6½ Oz. Chinook

Yeast
White Labs American Ale Yeast Blend WL060

Step by step:

Coarsely crush all grains. For the smaller grains (amaranth and quinoa) you'll need to employ a food processor.

Heat 10 gallons of water to 130º. Mash in. Stabilise at 120º. Hold for ten minutes. Raise to 155º and hold for 70 minutes. Raise to 165º and mash out. First running should take about an hour to complete, be patient. Sparge to collect 15 gallons of runoff.

Bring to a boil. Allow the boil to continue until you have reduced the total volume to 13 gallons (may take awhile depending in how hot your burner gets.) You are aiming for a total end-boil volume of no more than 10 gallons of wort to reach your target gravity. Add the two cups of molasses at anytime during the boil. Use caution to avoid scorching it on the bottom of your boil kettle.

Hopping Schedule: 90 minute boil.

1 oz. Chinook after initial 10 minute boil
1½ oz Chinook at 45 minutes
1 oz Chinook at 60 minutes
1 oz Chinook 75 minutes
1 oz Chinook at 85 minutes

¾ pound Rocket Java (beans broken in half. A frying pan and Ziploc bag work well.) at flame out

Cover and rest for 10 minutes. Chill and ferment. Primary ferment one week. Secondary for two weeks (Dry hop with ½ oz. Chinook per five gallons). Bottle/keg as normal.

og 1.090
fg 1.028
ABV 9%

Yes, my fellow wanderers this is an incredibly labor intensive beer but once you've made/found it; you'll know it was worth the trouble.

Musical Interlude The Sixteenth

2010-09-18T21:19:00.000-07:00

I'm walking in the mini mart there's food on the floor
There's carts everywhere, there's blood on the door
I just want to buy some snacks and get back home
But these ghouls are trying to eat my bones

Zombies again. I know. There just seems to be a giant proliferation of songs of the dead these days. But you do have to admit it is a catchy little ditty.

The Passage winner is ...

2010-09-15T21:07:00.000-07:00

Me, "Hey, Millie! Pick a number between one and four."

Millie, "No!"

Me, "C'mon, pick a number!"

Millie, "What?!?"

Me, "Between one and four!"

Millie, (pause) "three"

So for those of you playing the home game 'Jim' from survival weekly is the winner. I'll contact you through your blog so you came claim your fantastic prize. Thanks to all who entered.

Musical Interlude The Fifteenth

2010-09-13T16:35:00.000-07:00

'Can’t you see what this world’s become?
When the dead feast off the living, yeah.
And we’re about to join the fun.'

This one's for you Kate.

Tycus

2010-09-08T14:21:00.000-07:00

'The comet that was earlier thought to be harmless is now on on a collision course with the moon. There is a distinct possibility that the fragments could come crashing to Earth and cause serious damage. Specialists from NASA and JPL in Pasadena are advising all emergency and governmental agencies to have evacuation plans in place for some urban and low-lying areas in the United States. Right now, coastal communities and large cities are at the greatest risk. There is no need to panic. Please stay tuned to this station for more late breaking news and information.'

- News report just before tshtf

The Last Mimzy

2010-09-07T19:42:00.000-07:00

'I don't understand. What do you mean?'

'Wrrraurrarr'

'But I don't want the world to end. Ever. I love the world.'

'Waur'

'I don't want it to die.'

'Waurrarrr'

'I know.'

'Waurrurr'

'I know. With all my heart. I love you so much'

-conversation between Emma Wilder and The Mimzy

Post-Apocalyptic Andy Rooney

2010-09-07T11:56:00.000-07:00

'Who's the guy in your group who attaches all the spikes to your football pads? He must come in pretty handy.'
That guy most likely is Chris from Dirty and Distressed. Jussayin.

UDATE: I got the 'distressed' shirt in the mail. These pictures will have to do until I get the other off the digital camera.

Here's to you Mr. 3000th Visitor

2010-09-02T18:22:00.001-07:00

Another giveaway. Comment to be considered for a chance to be sent a copy of The Passage by Justin Cronin.

No rabbits were harmed during the writing of this post.

My liver however is a different story. Good luck.

update:

son's 'a bitches! forgot an end/drawing date. lets say september 15 shall we?

Oh yeah! World wide shipping. Don't be shy.

Boredom = Bracelet

2010-09-02T16:34:00.000-07:00

As it happens over and over with me, when I get bored I start a new project. This blog and my twitter account are perfect examples. I get bored things happen. Anyhow a shirt that I bought from Dirty and Distressed is due to show up anytime. This is not a shirt you can wear with just any piece of clothing. To that end I've spent the last weekend washing and rewashing an old pair of Levi's. Also to go along with this whole thing I re-purposed an old corduroy jacket, a worn out pair of khakis and an old belt to make a bracelet to complete the whole look.

This is the bracelet:

I'll get a picture of the shirt later.

And yes my wife thinks it's terrible and that I'm a dork. Whatever.

You've all seen this right ?

2010-08-30T19:44:00.001-07:00

Well just in case:

The Best Of Both Worlds

2010-08-30T15:23:00.000-07:00

Today I was buying my bother-in-law's birthday present (a 22 oz. bottle of Hopportunity Knocks IPA and a bottle of Sierra Nevada 30th Anniversary Frits and Ken Ale) when I saw it. The perfect blending of my two most favorite things.

10 Barrels Brewing in Bend Oregon has rolled out an Apocalypse IPA. The only problem? I need to wait to enjoy it until I am with such a person as can truly appreciate both parts. India Pale Ale. And the apocalypse. So I'll keep it on hand and send it to Hawaii. Then I'll share.

The Musical Stylings of Wastelander. Wardrive on CD. \m/ >< \m/

2010-08-29T09:32:00.000-07:00

I guess it had to happen eventually. Every couple months or so I go to Google and type in 'Apocalyptic Music'. I spend some time looking around for music I've not heard of before. I listen to the song and if it grows on me I take a quote that distills the song its essence. I post the quote and the video. The song then becomes a 'Musical Interlude'. The last musical interlude was a song by Wastelander. I noticed Wastelander on another blog. I listened to an entirely random song on Youtube. It was pretty goddamn sweet. So I did the normal.

Then I listened to another song. It was even more badass than the first. I found their M'Space. I read what the influences of the band were. What the idea behind what the band was and whatnot. Here it is:

" Enter the Wasteland.

A fever dream made flesh. Apocalyptic visions from a paranoid prophet of doom long since driven insane by his own obsessions. Grinding rhythmic sonicscapes, seething with energy and despair. Casual observations from the edge of the cataclysmic abyss at the end of our time. Amongst the death of our planet, atrophying in this vapid culture, and from the voids of the mind.

THE POST-APOCALYPSE COMETH AND THE TIME IS NOW!!! Lansing, Michigan. The Infernal City. A blastscape of banality on the edge of despair. A city under siege by malaise and apathy, and filled with sheer emptiness. Boredom so crushingly harsh that it grinds the spirit down to the bone, leaving a numbed shell. Located in the lowest ranked state in the nation, it has quickly become everyone's favorite place to flee. All that remain are the desperate, the stubborn, and battle hardened individuals with wills of steel, existing on chaos, substances, and introverted mindscapes.

It is within this 21st century wasteland that two survivors rose from the ashes of their fallen bands XAPHAN ( Summon ) and MATT WAR ( Harbinger ) to distill the surrounding desolation to it's most visceral, sonic form. Unfazed by a lack of willing and/or skilled musicians, the uncompromising duo accompanied by a drum machine, systematically recorded five songs of blacknroll fury and unleashed the 2007 DEMO upon the unsuspecting masses. The debut album Wardrive was paroled Summer 2008, amidst a flurry of excitement and revolving drummers. In Summer 2009 Wastelander will join forces with Abigail to expunge the infernal split "Nuke and Puke". More surprises to come.

The stage is now set for WASTELANDER to run wild on Infernal City and lands beyond. Spreading like a doomsday virus, and trekking the terminal zones to bring you scavengers rocking road-warrior black metal. Overcoming the odds, enflaming the unbelievers, and forever ruling Bartertown, WASTELANDER WILL DEFY!!!"

Needless to say I was hooked. Now the album Wardrive is not the simplest thing in the world to come by. There are a few people selling it on Ebay. I bought the cheapest one offered. It showed up in my mail box sometime last week. I had been punishing my liver but that didn't stop me from sitting in my driveway, drinking a beer and listening to it at a high volume. The CD was pure gold front to back. Also this is my first 'Music' entry in my PA Library. That's right The Bookshelves of Doom now has a soundtrack. It's the only album I've found that is pure apocalypse.

Also since I've not found the lyrics anywhere else, I'd thought it'd be swell and neato to post them here. Enjoy.

INTRO

WARDRIVE

The battle is over
The war's just begun
An endless procession
The worst still to come

All systems go
At the start of the show
Deadly reactor
And its ready to blow
We bring the Wardrive
Full metal force
Hellbent to redline
With a boot to the floor
Head on collision
Demolition and rock
Over the limit
But unable to stop
Driven by wounds
Impervious high
Wardrive

Anomalous breakdown
Can't hold them back
Razor aggression
Full scale attack
Engorging the racing
The lust to combust
Harder than die hard
Nuclear rush

DAYS OF HELL

Nothing left but violence
And nowhere to go but down
Infernal city silence
Settles down like a burial shroud
Hotwire the hardwire
Overclocked to the point of distress
Burning up and burning out
Bound to take it over the edge

Eruption of the morning light
blasting like a funeral bell
Too much is never enough
The nights of fury the days of hell

Now it's time for mayhem
I do what I please
Systematically shellshocked
I've got the disease
On the brink of disaster faster
Than a bullet bursting into the brain
Self destruct totally fucked
As another day goes down the drain

DESSERT LAW

Just one resolution
Just one final creed
Nightriders of destruction
Fulfill their primal need
This land is ruled by thieves
This land is ruled by power
Old laws do not exist
Resist and be devoured

The law of the desert land
Beneath the setting sun
The plunder from
A dead man's hand
There will be no time to run

Abandoned highways fallen to decay
Nomadic maniacs
We're hunting for our prey
Killer instinct calculating mind
Run with the pack
Or we'll leave you far behind
Nowhere to hide
From the rolling thunder force
Crushed beneath by wheels of steel
12000 pound scrap metal machine
Your mangled corpse will make my meal

MINDSWEEPER

Not another living soul
For miles and miles around
Isolation takes its toll so all alone
Dehydrated worn
And tired senses dulled
Delirium starts to unfold
Consuming you

Sensory deprivation
Mental suffixation
Feel no longer whole
Can't maintain control

Serene oasis in the distance
Hallucinations of fatigue
Loved ones calling me
From within their shallow graves
Their voices echo in my mind

I am the Wastelander
The master of my fate
No man shall stand before me
Mine to dominate

KNEE DEEP IN THE DEAD

What do you say to a dying man
Words seem to disappear
A life before you
At the languished end
Expiration is so near
Consuming impulse swarms across
The cells burning from inside out
This march to death
Cannot be stopped
No hope of any redoubt

Pill grim and skeleton bare
Fallout blows the plague is spread
Bodies farther than the eye can see
Knee deep in the dead
No way to stop the onslaught
No comfort in this massacre
Biological tragedy
Knee deep in the fucking dead

Chemo scarred fragile and weak
Fluids pouring out by the score
Devastation the outlook is bleak
A shattered species covered in sores
Where is the savior
When comes the relief
Unebbing tide of human lives
Medication not nearly enough
To stem the tide of deadly disease

BAPTIZED IN ASHES

Tonight the city burns
Shockwaves and firestorms
Ripping through your flesh in torment
Not a fraction of life remains
Cast into a sea of flame
A crater where the kingdom fell
Armageddon at last is here
Break out the guns and beer
As we drink to man's demise

Bombs fall death calls
Population all reduced to nothing
Last blast critical mass
All alone in the land of the dead
Bombs fall death calls
Population all reduced to nothing
Last blast critical mass
All alone in the land of the dead

You looked so disgraced
With a face full of nuclear waste
Bet you wish that
You never crossed me now
Wont ever be destroyed
Rising up from the inner void
Born again from the depths of despair

FROST STORM

It comes for me a lifeless front
White hazed hell upon the hills
And through the mist an icy fist
Shattering my senses
Plowing through defenses
On every horizon
Chrystal walls are closing in
Blistering the atmosphere
Engulfing all you see
Flash frozen to a bitter degree
Frost Storm

Subzero hammer
Pounding through the frozen wastes
Brutal avalanche burying decay
The roar of a thousand angry gods
As cold scorch winds descend on you

Every single second
tears the breath away
Rapid elemental shift
Falling fahrenheit the air grows thin
Blood frozen before it's bled
Frostbitten and left for dead
Steamrolling like a tidal wave
Bulldozer from the north
Tempest howls out the arctic assault
Drowning out the light
Obscured by winter blight
Frost storm

FINAL BATTLE

Stand or fall
One last battle to save them all
Lock and load
Gaining ground as the bombs explode
Merchants of death
Dealing death till there's nobody left
Can't take much more
The final combat the final war

Get ready here it comes
Brighter than a thousand suns
The end coming that was foretold
Since the dawn of time
Doomed situation
Last stand of civilization
It's all over can't you see
On the way to world war three

Virulent dread
Breeding destruction
Cannot face the storm
Final combat

Wastelander

Enter the wastelands
That stretch before your eyes
A barren image of defeat
Chared crumbling wreckage
That reaches to the skies
Annihilation is complete

Ready your weapons
So few are left alive
So fight to live or join the dead
The right to kill
And the struggle to survive
The sky is black the blood is red

Never seen such devastation
Never felt so alone
On this dead empty world
Of broken flesh and stone
Suspended disbelief
The land stripped bare
Anguished cries ring hollow
In the poisoned air

Never seen such devastation
Never felt so alone
Wasteland warriors
Come claim your toxic home
Never seen such devastation
Never felt so alone
Wasteland warriors
Sits on his ruined throne

Renegade hunters
And mutants of the wild
All competing for your life
Creeping cancers and radiation burns
Over a million ways to die
Only the strongest
Stand triumphant to the odds
Bodies dropping to the sand
Heat singed holy books
And long forgotten gods
Are just the refuge of the damned

Wastelander will defy
The will of iron never dies

OUTRO

The Passage by Justin Cronin

2010-08-21T00:25:00.000-07:00

I know. This book was pretty vastly hyped. At least hyped in the circles I travel in. Fine sure. Whatever. So it's mostly just The Post-Apocalyptic Forums and the Apocalypse Whenever group at Goodreads.com and the Post-Apocalyptic Community. The point being that amongst those rather vocal groups for the longest time it was all The Passage all the time. How great it was. That the movie rights had been purchased after an intense bidding war even before the book had even been released. Even Time Magazine succumbed to a bout of bandwagon jumping as it proclaimed The Passage to be the sixth best PA of all time (right between The Drowned World by G J Ballard and World War Z by Max Brooks). This was written the very day the book hit the shelves mind you. Soon after that many of my 'tweeps' began to write what could only be called 140 character love letters to Cronin. The final straw was that Megaton decided to 'book-club' it. So that being the case I was forced to begin reading it before most of it became ruined for me.

As some more observant readers may know I recently finished up my master's degree. My wife's grandmother who thinks I'm a pretty awesome guy gave me something like 30 bucks. Yes now I'm certain of it. Thirty dollars. I spent a portion of that money to get The Passage. There was a couple other books I wanted to get to before I read The Passage but not wanting it spoiled and because I grew tired of skipping over post in various places that mentioned the book in any way. So I finally knuckled under and did it.

This post will be spoiler free don't worry. I wont be 'that guy'. Without giving too much away I'll simply say this book is broken into two distinct but unequal part. The first part deals with the gathering of some individuals. It also deals with the background of the virus itself. The second part is much longer. In a move that made my head spin Cronin moved the narrative into the future. It deals with how the people live a hundred years after the release of the virus.

I read many descriptions of this book that opined it was similar to The Stand by Stephen King. Trust me the only thing that was similar was everyone dieing. That is it. I'd say it had something in common with 'Salem's Lot but no. The vampires in that book only took over that one town and then got their asses handed to them at the end. The book altogether reminded me most of 'The Road by Cormac McCarthy'. Not the material of the book but the style of the writing itself. Rich eloquent writing. It wasn't quite on the level of The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery but is was better and of higher vocabulary than most of my normal fare offers.

The opening of the book; the first part was unlike anything I have read. But the second much longer part reminded me most of the 'Emberverse' series by S.M. Stirling. Not that it had anything to do with electricity being lost or anything. It was the medieval feeling of it. Living behind walls and knives and crossbows being your main weapons. It all lent the feel of the Emberverse.

I'm not going to mention the exact part where this happens but if you've read both Watership Down by Richard Adams and The Passage you'll know what I'm talking about. If you've only read The Passage you'll recognise this: In Watership Down the rabbits find a warren that doesn't have a chief rabbit. But since Cowslip is the first rabbit from the warren they meet it's called 'Cowslips Warren'. The warren is weird. The rabbits are all happy and well fed. Hazel's group is a little ill-at-ease because they don't see predators. They let their guard down when they see all the fantastic food that is available in Cowslips Warren. The warren looses its luster when they discover that the nearby farmer has been shooting foxes and any other predators that come near and also supplying them with the great food. But he also (every now and then) will snare a rabbit for the stew pot. The rabbits of the warren have chose safety and good food over personal liberty and free will. When the Hazel and the rest discover this they make plan to leave. Other rabbits join them.

Also later a train saves the band of rabbits from General Woundwort.

Final thought: I enjoyed this book. Though not as much as all the hype let me believe I would. In my mind I've got a pretty solid top ten:

The Stand by Stephen King
It's Only Temporary by Eric Shapiro
Summer of the Apocalypse by James Van Pelt
Earth Abides by George R. Stewart
Swan Song by Robert R. McCammon
Empty World by John Christopher
Some Will Not Die by Algis Budrys
Blood Crazy by Simon Clark
Dark Advent by Brian Hodge
Eternity Road by Jack McDevitt

With honorable mentions for:
Fire by Alan Rodgers
and Blakely’s Ark by Ian MacMillan

I wouldn't replace any of the top ten but I think I'd place The Passage in place of Blakely's Ark. I'd recommend it friends and family and all don't get me wrong. But you do have to remember I've read more PA than anyone I know.

100 Users and 2500 Posts on the Post-Apocalyptic Forum, and Free Stuff! (Reblog)

2010-08-20T00:10:00.000-07:00

From www.megaton.us

We started the Post-Apocalyptic Forum just four months ago, but in that short time we’ve already reached the milestones of surpassing 100 Users and 2500 Posts.

In celebration, and just to say thanks for participating, I’m having a random giveaway contest. All you have to do to enter is post a reply in this thread and pick a number between 1 and 1000. Whoever guesses the closest to the number hidden in this file will win.

The prize will be the DVD set of Life After People: The Series – The Complete Season One shipped anywhere in the world.

Thanks again to everyone who’s stopped by to add to the discussions, and we’re looking forward to meeting those of you who just haven’t gotten around to registering yet.

The Aterblight Cronicles: Children's Crusade

2010-08-19T17:22:00.000-07:00

Another man might have felt a twinge of guilt when he realised that, in some ways, The Cull was the best thing that ever happened to him. But not Tariq. He rarely dwelt on the past and seldom paused to examine his motives or feelings. He lived in the moment and he liked it there right well, thank you very much.

I couldn't agree with you more Tariq. Especially the 'best thing that ever happened' part. In the words of Gabby Johnson, 'Rerit!'

Deep Impact (more)

2010-08-18T08:35:00.000-07:00

Just a couple more things about the movie quickly here.

Thing the First: I know this is a really old movie. I've owned it for a long time I just haven't watched it in awhile. I remember when it first came out. I was working in the theater when it came out so I was even able to watch it free. But Wait! There's more! The theater being in Oregon (Beervana) the theater served beer. And back then I was a crazy ass punk rocker so I didn't care about rules an' stuff. So I'd fill up a stealth cup with beer (it was Full Sail Amber). There's nothing quite like watching a movie with a 44 ounce cup of free beer. So yeah ... an older movie that my younger self dug and it held up well. Things that made my chest tighten up still did. My only concern about the movie was an impact like like that in the Atlantic would have ended life as we know it even if it wasn't an Extinction Level Event, the wave still went all the way to the Tennessee River Valley. That's covers our entire population center. One would have to imagine it did similar damage to Western Europe. What would a world be like Eastern Europe suddenly being the only major countries who were unaffected?

Thing the Second: Leelee Sobieski looks creepily like Helen Hunt. That's all I could think about the first time I watched this movie and it was the same this time. Just type 'helen hunt look alike' into google. She the first result. And then it goes on for pages. Just weird.

That is all.

Deep Impact

2010-08-17T16:19:00.001-07:00

'I think it's really neat. Nobody on our block has discovered the world was gonna end before.'

-Sarah Hotchner

The Afterblight Chronicles: School's Out

2010-08-15T22:09:00.000-07:00

"Come on then," I said. And we ran out of the tent and into the battle.

I'd never seen anything like it. It was a free for all. Everywhere I looked there were people fighting hand-to-hand; everywhere the glint of sunlight on machete blades, the smell of blood and cordite. People were being and shot, strangled and beaten. It was a melee and it was impossible to tell who was winning.

-Lee Keegan

Musical Interlude The Fourteenth

2010-08-13T22:28:00.000-07:00

Armageddon at last is here,
break out the guns and beer,
as we drink to man's demise.

Back to my roots \m/ > < \m/

Last Survivors Trilogy by Susan Beth Pfeffer and a Giveaway

2010-08-13T22:21:00.001-07:00

First things first. Two of them really. First is that I have written about the first two books as my first blog post. You can read about it here: A two part calamity. Second I will be writing spoilers. Don't worry though because when I do I'll write it in black font. This way you wont see it unless you highlight it. It'll look like this: spoilers will be in black. And lastly (so fine three things): I'm giving away a copy of This World We Live In. So if you're a lurker come out come out where ever you are. Don't worry I'll ship worldwide because pornokitsch did me a solid. Leave a comment and I'll do a random drawing. Do it ... you know you wanna. Contest ends September 10th.

Life As We Knew It

As this book starts out it's some point in a teenage girl's journal. Since she writes in it all the time it stands to reason that journaling is a pastime she enjoys a lot. Also that her family is used to it. At the beginning there is back story so you know a little about Miranda's personality. Take it from me she is an ordinary teenage girl. She spends time complaining that her teachers give her too much homework, boys don't pay enough attention to her and she argues with her mom. So at the beginning there are a few of these type entries.

Then the good stuff begins to happen. She mentions that a meteor is on course to hit the moon. She doesn't think much of it. She in fact finds it irritating. Now all her teachers want her to write a report on the moon, so even more homework (cue more teenagey bitching).

Everyone is out in the street having moon parties. I'm not sure this would happen. Would everyone turn out to watch the moon being hit? Would people even care? I don't know. I for one think people would watch it on the tv box but I'm not sure. Anyhow it made a fairly memorable scene with all the impromptu barbecues and the party-like atmosphere.

When the meteor hits the moon everything goes sideways. The meteor must have been more dense, bigger or might even have been going faster than the big-brains thought. For whatever reason the moon is pushed closer to the earth. When people notice panic ensues. They panic harder when they get news reports of tidal waves. And then worse still when volcanoes begin erupting.

This book is the first in a trilogy that later became known as 'The Last Survivors'. Susan Beth Pfeffer is a great author and all the people in her book acted pretty much the way you expect people to do. I think this must have been her first foray into apocalyptic/post-apocalyptic writing. I say this because there some moments that run contrary to most apocalyptic cliches.

The one that really jumped out at me was close to front. Miranda's mom picks her up at school and they drive to the grocery store to stock up on food. Since the power is out, the store is asking only $100 per cart. Everyone in her family is able to make many trips and fill the car with food. Two problems with this. Problem the first: no way would a store give a cart of food for $100. They'd be charging that much for a single bag. Problem the second: everyone acted all polite to each other. No one dies getting their food (or kills I guess). They even helped one another with food choices. Along that same line no one ripped them off. Their food was all still in the car.

This book falls squarely into the cosy catastrophe genera. No one in the immediate family dies. Even the older brother who was at Cornell makes it home. Later on the flu (Pfeffer describes it as a 1918 Spanish Flu type one) makes a pass through the town and although many people in town die, Miranda's mother and both brothers fall ill but get better. They all are hungry but that's it. Pfeffer isn't afraid to kill of secondary characters (Dr. Peter Elliott, a vital lifeline for the family, snuffs out) but she leaves the core of main ones intact.

I enjoyed Life As We Knew It a lot. The scene that stuck out for me the first time I read it was Miranda at the pond. She finally gets some alone time and skates. This time I found another scene a little more memorable. It is when Miranda has given up. She takes a death march into town knowing she won't be back because she'd like to save her mom seeing her dead. The pond scene was still great. It was a little less memorable this time but only because I knew no one was coming out of the forest to do her some serious lasting harm. Actually the first time I read it I didn't notice all the skating references, this time I shoock my head and wondered how I could have missed it. Only after being a regular visitor to Susan's blog did I make the connection.

Alright Susan. I have a couple of questions for you just in case you read this. Question the first: Where I live we have stores called 'Winco' and 'Food 4 Less'. These stores are quite a lot like 'Costco' but with one big difference. The bulk food section. Everything from powdered milk to popcorn even dog, cat and bird food can be had there. So that would be where I'd go with my $100. I might get tired of eating beans and rice after a while but I'd almost certainly not starve. Question the second: Whatever happened to Brandon Erlich? He seemed pretty important to Miranda but after she skates with him at Miller's Pond he vanishes from the narrative. Or was the pond scene a part of some delirium? Question the Third: Why no marauders? They are a PA staple. The smoke from the chimney and the light leaking from the windows should have been a beacon to any persons of nefarious repute. Last Question: When the neighbors began to die off why didn't Matt (who strikes me as having the most developed sense of survival) go out and get all the food and other supplies the dead could no longer use? Just seems counter intuitive that someone would starve to death in sight of food is all.

Final though on Life As We Knew It. I enjoyed the book quite a lot. The first time I read it I wondered why Miranda was given sort of a soft ride through the apocalypse. This time I realize that the events of the book were seen through the filter of a disaffected teenage girl. We didn't read about much of the bad stuff that happened because the book had a first person, non-omniscient narrator. Miranda not only didn't want to know what was happening in the larger world, she actively avoided it. I think that a peek into her mom's journal would be quite something.

the dead and the gone

I wrote earlier in this blog about the dead and the gone. I wrote then that I enjoyed it because it is more dark and gritty and real than it's sister book. The story runs at the same time as the events of Life As We Knew It but it looks like one of two things happened. Either Sue read a lot of PA and got ideas of how to make a harsher and more bleak world or she got a bunch of irate e-mails from other readers who asked things like 'why didn't Miranda or her brother raid the houses of people who died?' or 'why didn't they scavenge more?' perhaps even 'why did none of the main characters die?'. None of those irate e-mailers were me but I did hear them.
The second book started off well. Alex is the focus of this one. He is seventeen (I think) and is a Junior in the private (and I guess pretty exclusive) St. Vincent school. He is also a day-to-day worker at Joey's Pizza. As the story begins he is working and not paying attention to much except for school and work (and the occasional tip). That's sort of unfortunate for him because he isn't aware of the meteor that hits the moon in the middle of his shift. But that's not what irritates him. The tv box looses reception. Right in the middle of a ball game.

His grandmother has recently snuffed and his dad (and a bunch of other relatives) are in Porto Rico to attend the funeral. His mom has just gotten a job as a surgery tech. and is called to work at the hospital. So when he gets home the only people home are his two sisters.

He goes to bed thinking in the morning everything will be fine. He uncle who owns a bodega wakes him up early. Alex and his sister go to help their uncle get all the food out of the store. The uncle being a kindly sort lets them keep some. Alex and his sister Julie not being aware of the dire nature of the whole thing get sorta random food.

Soon after this events take a darker turn. Alex decides his mom is dead, that she drowned in the subway on the way to the hospital and that his dad died died in the tsunamis that wiped out Porto Rico. So they're orphans. All in the first couple chapters.

After that it settles down into real survival. This is the part I talked about before. Susan has definitely gotten some fan mail. Alex didn't have a mother who raided a supermarket. All he had was a little sister who raided a bodega for a bunch of goodies. Not her fault really. She's just a kid after all. The important thing is it drives her brother into survival overdrive. Not all at once though. He starts small. When it looks like the food is going to run out he first breaks into his dad's office. Uses keys he found there to enter other apartments. It's not long before he runs dangerously low on food again. He 'lucks out' when he's befriended by Kevin, the guy at school who can get you anything you want. He introduces Alex to 'bodyshopping'. When they see a person who has snuffed on the street they strip them down and take all stuff to the local black market guy and trade it for food.

Before when I wrote about this book I said the part that stuck out the most for me was when Alex was going to the stadium to look for his mother's corpse. I guess I wrote that because I forgot about the elevator. I must have blocked that out because I was still caught by surprise. I won't spoil it for here (if you even read this far in a very long rambling review). Just trust me when I say it. That part will stick with you.

Last word on 'the dead and the gone'. I'm glad I own this book so that I could enjoy rereading it. It was darker much more 'real' for me than Life As We Knew It. I highly recommend it. Also don't be fooled by the YA classification. It's hardcore PA. Trust me.

This World We Live In

First things first. If you haven't read this book don't read the inside flap. I haven't read a synopsis that was more spoilerific in forever. So whatever you do don't read the flap alright?

This book was quite a bit like 'Life As We Knew It'. It was voiced by Miranda in the form of a continuation of her diary. It also had the same tone as the first. It was exactly what I had anticipated. And also much like 'the dead and the gone' it was a dark and pretty frightening book. At the end of 'Life As We Knew It' the people in charge give each member of the family a bag of food. So the family of four gets four bags of food. That helps them get by. That continues in this book. So it's a near seamless continuation of part one.

As the story continues Alex joins the group when he shows up with Miranda's dad. Not a big problem though because they are able to get food from the town too. Also true to form Susan has either listened to some critics or has read other apocalyptic books, Miranda begins 'house hunting'. This is a lot like body shopping but with dead and empty houses and not corpses. She strips them of all useful items. Also her brothers discover that food can be had in the forests and rivers. Those where two of the major gripes about the first book. There were no attacks by raiders/scavengers on the house or on any surrounding houses.

All in all this was a great book and well worth the wait. It ended well with some happiness and parts that must be pretty awful to have to live through.

12 Monkeys

2010-08-04T17:07:00.000-07:00

'You won't think I'm crazy when people start dieing next month. First they'll think it's some weird fever. Then they'll find out. They'll catch on.'

- James Cole

The Passage by Justin Cronin

2010-07-28T21:08:00.000-07:00

A lidded eye of moon was hanging over the tree line, like a child's toy suspended on a wire, a smiling moon face dangling above a baby's crib. Its light spilled over a landscape of ashes, everything dying, the world's living surface peeled away to reveal the rocky core of it all. Like a stage set, Wolgast thought, a stage set for the end of all things, all memories of things.

Pale - Catastrophic Skies

2010-07-22T21:24:00.000-07:00

Their sound is a bit hokey but this video kicks some serious ass.

Musical Interlude The Thirteenth

2010-07-18T23:49:00.000-07:00

London calling to the zombies of death

this world we live in

2010-07-18T23:11:00.000-07:00

"It's hard to lose friends," he said.
I figured that meant we could start biking again. "Have you lost friends, too?" I asked.
"Everyone has," he said.
I thought that was a pretty lousy answer. He could have consoled me for my losses or he could have told me about his, but to point out the whole world is a rotten stinking mass of death didn't make me feel any better.

- Miranda

Happy-Beach-Reading-Fun-Time

2010-07-17T14:15:00.000-07:00

Is it wrong to enjoy reading about a giant mound of frozen bodies while you're relaxing on Laguna Beach? I don't know, maybe.

The Dead And The Gone II

2010-07-16T17:40:00.000-07:00

"New York City is under quarintine because of the flu," the cop said. "No one allowed in or out of the city ."
"Until when?" Alex asked. "For how long?"
"The cop shrugged. "Until it runs its course," he said. "Or until everyone in the country gets it so it won't matter anymore. Or until we all die. Take your pick."

And also I was reading the book when a song came on the radio that matched perfectly. Funny how that happens idn't it? Anyhow this one was when Alex was at the church sort of at the end. I won't tell you why he went there. That'd ruin it for you. Anyhow it was a song by Crystal Method. Here you go.

The Dead and the Gone by Susan Beth Pfeffer

2010-07-15T09:47:00.000-07:00

"Are things going to get worse?" Julie asked, and Alex could hear the suppressed panic in her voice.
"Yeah, I think so," Alex said. "If you can believe that."
"I don't want to eat rats," Julie said. "Or dead people."
"Me neither," Alex said. "Let's get going so we won't have to."

This song isn't PA but it made sense to me when it played on the radio as I was reading about the old parishioners Alex was checking in on and how he thought they may have suffocated. Here it is:

The Cosy Catastrophe and Neena Gathering

2010-07-15T08:39:00.000-07:00

The main elements for the cosy catastrophe are few a relatively simple.

First: some disaster has to have occurred. Some people don't dicker and will accept any disaster even a localised one as acceptable. Not me I take a pretty hard line. I need for event to have been world wide and nearly uniformly lethal. So that's the first rule: a cataclysm of global and uniformly fatal proportions. Any less than that is a glorified version of 'The Towering Inferno'. The Rift by Jon Williams is the perfect example to illustrate this.

Second: A small group (can consist of only two) survivors begin to coalesce. Sometimes they attempt to recreate the rules and norms of the society that lies rotting all around them. Other times they make their own strange and unusual customs. Some definitions will say the survivors need to be white middle class types who simply want to recreate the world so they continue to be maintained in the lifestyle they had been accustomed to. These people are wrong.

Third: Nothing fatal happens to any of the main characters. They can get sick, be hungry, or injure themselves and it still falls into the category of the Cosy Catastrophe as long as none of these things cause their death.

A quick refresher about how to determine the main character should be done here. In my Introduction to Literature class I took my first year at WOU, Gavin Keulks (Best. English Professor. Ever) taught us that to find the main character ask yourself the question: Who changes? Sometimes it's hard to tell, especially when the book has a very large cast like The Stand. If you apply the 'who changes' test to The Stand, you end up with: (1) Harold Lauder who goes from being the guy in high school who is both too smart and too nice (so girls all stay at 20 foot pole range) to being an enormous douche, (2) Larry Underwood who goes from a self-obsessed almost famous type to being totally and completely self sacrificing, (3) Frannie Goldsmith who goes from being a little girl in grown-up's body; a little spoiled to being an honest-to-goodness leader, (4) Nadine Cross who goes from being a fairly nice lady who teaches kindergarten and cares for people in general to aligning herself with Harold (after he'd gone around the bend) and ultimately being impregnated with hell spawn. She does get the good-sexy-fun-time quote. She says it to Harold, that's right nerdy, greazy and painfully shy Harold gets one of the best line in the book. She says 'coffee, tea ... or me?'

My original point was about cosy catastrophes. The use of the book The Stand was simply to illustrate a book many people say fits in the category but it really doesn't. It has the first two but not the last. Fatal turn of events happen to all but one of the main characters. The ending of the uncut version has all the hallmarks of a cosy catastrophe if it were continued, but in general it's apocalyptic in nature.

The Question Of Reading Apocalyptic Fiction

The question has been posed many times on at least two different forums. Why do you enjoy reading PA? Is it purely because you want to live in devastated world where rules do not apply? Is it that you want to throw off the shackles of The Man and live in a world were the rules no longer apply? Do you enjoy living vicariously because you loathe your rotten work-a-day existence? Or is that you hate humans and would like to live in world where 90%+ have been turned to rotting (but but not zombified) flesh?

The answer is because I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE! Most of them anyhow. I have been married for eleven years but have no children. The best free birth control exits in two places. In my neck of the woods these places were once in the same place. These places are Walmart and McDonald's. A visit to either one of these places at about 5pm will result in you be a specieist. Yes you too will have an adverse reaction to the proximity of any Homo sapiens. People are terrible. In the words of The Joker from Batman 'this town needs an enema'. But I'd replace town with world.

I looked and looked but the essay I wanted to use to illustrate my point here is one I couldn't find. The point of it was sort of an indictment of people who think they'll survive the end. It pretty much said: "you will die. and your death will be neither fast nor painless. you do not want this. if you live live you'll wish you hadn't" So yeah although I don't want to live in post-apocalyptic world I do sort of think about it. Another big point the lost essay had was the scenarios involved in survival. If you live through a nuclear war then all the water, food even the air is poisoned. So you survive only to die slowly and painfully. If you survive contagion then you have mounds of rotting corpses to deal with. Even if diseases from the unburied dead wouldn't be as big a problem as some would have you think, or at least according to this article, you still have the problem of millions of fetid, pungent dead people.

Now if I did survive (and the odds really are against that) I'd hope to do so in a cosy catastrophe. Hence the name of this blog. I prefer my catastrophic event to be one where I'd still be able to enjoy a beer and a good steak. I've said I don't care for people and I don't so if unpleasant or fatal things happened I'd prefer they happen to someone who is not associated with me.

Neena Gathering by Valerie Nieman Colander

The world of Neena Gathering is the perfect PA world. It's one that's been done many times by many different authors. Same type of world that was in Wolf and Iron by Gordon R. Dickson and in Life As We Knew It by Susan Beth Pfeffer. Some terrible things happen but they never happen to me or to my family. Life may not be exactly comfortable but no one bursts in to take what's yours and then eat you.

That's Neena Gathering. Don't get me wrong it's a great book and I'm glad I took the time the read it. As the story begins The United States has had some sort of civil war. And lost. All that remains are city states. No mention is given about the war that brought this about but it's not important anyway. After the war ends and Washington DC in defeated the city states wage war on each other. It's pretty brutal apparently. But again no real details are given. Also it's not important.

The important thing is the weapons used against the other on both sides. They were called 'Metachemicals'. Again not much was told about these chemicals. I guess they are nearly uniformly fatal. They get into your DNA and change you. What these changes were are again not described. The important thing is a) not everyone exposed to the chemicals died from it and b) some people got away from the cities unharmed.

The people who lived are not only 'Changed' (again not really discribed much) but are ostracized as well.

There are some pretty good apocalyptic scenes in the book, piles of bodies and war. Overall the book is well written to. Valerie Nieman Colander is apparently a poet of some note and the style of her writing is polished and lyrical. Just as you'd expect a novel written by a poet to be.

The book is a prototypical cosy catastrophe. You keep expecting bad things to happen but everyone in the book is fine. The main conflict is between Neena, her uncle and Arden the Change. It's a love triangle. Her uncle is a pretty violent man who may or may not have had a hand in producing the Metachemicals. Arden is one who was forever scarred by those same chemicals. Neena is a girl just flowering into womanhood. You'd expect some sort of violence to break out. Nope. It's a cosy catastrophe.

Marauders or on the loose. They of course take what they want. They never come near Neena or anyone else.

A violent band of religious fanatics as well are on the loose. They convert people and then to make sure you stay in a state of grace ritualistically execute you.

Last though to this giant rambling post. I am curious about living in a post apocalyptic world but only if I'm guaranteed to survive and then survive in world like in Neena Gathering or Wolf and Iron or even Life As We Knew It.

Sweet Video: Stop Motion Big Bang To Nuclear Apocalypse

2010-07-11T17:33:00.000-07:00

Life As We Knew It

2010-07-09T22:32:00.000-07:00

"No, I think it was Friday," Maggie replied "Remember, Friday we lost ten people and we thought it was the worst of it. Then Saturday we lost seventeen. But I think he was on Friday."

"I'm pretty sure it was Saturday," the first woman said. "Doesn't matter, does it? He's dead. Just about everyone is."

-Maggie and Linda the nurses

Musical Interlude The Twelfth

2010-07-06T16:35:00.000-07:00

you must have forgot just who you were dealing with
nothing less than aggression so naked
so crystal clear with a
trust in absolutely fucking nothing but Doomtree

Hip Hop this time yo.

Catching Up

2010-07-06T06:06:00.000-07:00

Battle Circle by Piers Anthony

Battle Circle took me forever to finish. Now I have several great reasons for this. Reason the first is that this book is actually an omnibus. It has all of the books in a trilogy included within. In other words it wasn't a single book; it was three. All three of these books were normal-sized-novel type books. Three. Of. Them. Also the paper was almost bible-thin. And the font was tiny.

Those things, however, were the least of my problems. I was reading this book in fits and starts in and around researching, conducting, reading, note taking and then the actual writing of my thesis.

Also on a slightly different note this was the first PA book I've read that I actually wished I had one of those nifty cloth book covers. You know the ones they sell to ladies to hide the cover of bodice rippers so they can read them embarrassment free in public. My brother-in-law gave me a fair amount of shit based on the latently homosexual nature of the cover. I've mentioned in passing many times that I am a teacher. For the past several years I've been a sub or in lay terms, a glorified baby sitter. The only other book I've read that made me wish for the stealth cover was The Dying by Leslie Horvitz. But that was because the book cover was terrifying to kindergartners as opposed to extremely embarrassing.

Back on point here. The first book was called Sos the Rope. This book was one of those PA books where the end happened so long in the past that it is nearly forgotten. The denizens of the book called the event that left the world as they knew it 'The Blast'. There was no back story to the event. Nothing related as to why or when or how many. All that is really told is that The Blast happened and destroyed everything. Society after that fractured into three different groups.

The first group who live at the mountain are called Halicon. When The Blast happened they got bulldozers and pushed the rubble of the cities into a giant pile hollowed it out and lived in it. They were scientists and were mostly intent on keeping the technology of the the 'Pre-Blast' world alive. Things seemed to work wonderfully for them 'till they discovered they had left out something pretty crucial. They neglected to bring enough women. They fix that problem in a very scientific way, I guess.

The scientists at Halicon thought they were totally alone and were the only survivors of The Blast. They are wrong. Two more groups survived in the outside world. They are the Nomads and the Crazies. The Crazies (who are not related to the older George Romero film or it's more ill advised remake) keep the knowledge from the Pre-Blast time. Their actions make no sense to anyone who is not them so they must be crazy. Who reads books or is even interested in learning to read anyway?

The third group are Nomads. These guys (even though they are barbarians) are the real glue that holds this entire civilization together. They have this bazaar code. The society is pretty much non-violent and fairly peaceful. Except for in The Circle. "There are no manners in The Circle only victory defeat." In other words they are nice and mostly well mannered but when they step into The Circle they fight until someone gives up, leaves The Circle or dies.

All these groups are very closely tied together, symbiotic relationship close. The Crazies seem to know about it and Halicon orchestrates the whole thing. The Nomads however have no idea about the connection. The Crazies are the keepers of book knowledge but they were also farmers. The residents of Halicon have some hydroponics but their main responsibility is crafting quality weapons. Now all the machines in 'The Mountain' are all run on nuclear power. So they run forever and the raw material for all things they make (most of them for use in The Circle) is what The Mountain is made of, because it's made of the remains of a large city. Never ending energy and raw materials. So the Crazies trade with Halicon for weapons. Then they take the weapons and some of the food and stock 'hostels' with both.

There is so much to this trilogy I don't think I'll ever be done with the synopsis. Anyhow the last thing before I wrap this up. The names are weird too. So your dad's name is Tor (it's always CVC, consonant vowel consonant for those nonteacher types). Your name would be Tori no matter if you were a boy or a girl. Boys when they reach manhood (manhood = win first fight in The Circle) you choose a new CVC name for yourself plus add the weapon you used to win the fight. So that's why you end up with Sos the Rope. Also if you use the weapon anywhere else but in The Circle the Crazies stop putting more food and weapons in the hostels. So is you don't play nice you starve.

Last thing before I end this thing. The best book of them all was Neq the Sword. Way more more depravity. More of the PA goodness I love so much. The best scene in the book is during Var the Stick. He is on an epic quest when he meets a bunch of women. They live in a giant hive and the regular females call themselves 'Workers' the men are 'Drones' and the one in charge is the 'Queen'. It reminded me a lot of Thundarr the Barbarian for some reason. Seems like the sort of hijinks he'd get up to.

So that's it. Battle Circle was extraordinarily long but not boring. Also not all that absorbing. Well Neq the Sword was verging on greatness. Anyhow it's a good read and when you're done, you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you did.

Next up Neena Gathering and The Pack. But later.

Kranburn

2010-06-30T22:40:00.000-07:00

A quick one here. At the post-apocalyptic forums we just got the 70th member. Goes by the handle bmb. He is the author of a fairly righteous webcomic called 'Kranburn'.

Bmb describes it as:

"a post-apocalypse webcomic based in Australia, it’s a ‘nearly everyone died in a plague’ kind of apocalypse so the landscape isn’t blasted, more nature slowly taking back over. Also its more semi-real, so no mutants or robots etc (not that there’s anything wrong with a Fallout/STALKER type universe, its just not mine).There’s 44 pages up so far and it updates every Monday. suggested for mature readers, the violence gets a bit nasty and there is the odd (chortle) swear word."

I'm only seven pages in and hooked.

Check it out won't you please? Kranburn

And I'm still working on a new post to catch up. No worries.

More PA from The Twilight Zone

2010-06-22T14:23:00.000-07:00

So yeah, I've not gotten the new post done. Maybe I'm just tired of typing? Yup bet that's it. Anyhow I found another PA jem from the 80s.

... and after much trying and a little more bad luck, it turns out that for whatever reason if you'd like to view 'Quarantine' you need to do so at Youtube. Not to worry, I'll provide the link.

It takes place something like 350 years in the future. People in this time live a lot like people did in the 1800s I'd say. To the outsider they are primitive. A closer look reveals (in true 'Zone' form) what's really going on.

So here it is at last Quarantine in three parts. ONE, TWO, THREE. Enjoy.

A Little Peace and Quiet

2010-06-14T16:13:00.000-07:00

I haven't gotten around to a new post yet today. What I did get around to is watching some episodes of the 'Middle' Twilight Zone. It came from the 80s. I remember being completely in love with this series when I was a young mawn. And also Tales From The Darkside and Freddy's Nightmares.

One episode in particularly scared the liver out my younger self. I thought forever that it had been called 'The Amulet'. Not the case. It's really called 'A Little Peace and Quiet'. It's a new and frightening take on 'The Last Man' theme of apocalyptic fiction. The echoey qualities to her voice at the end are just plain unnerving. Here is in all its glory: A Little Peace and Quiet

Musical Interlude The Eleventh

2010-06-13T21:17:00.000-07:00

'cause I'm praying for rain
I'm praying for tidal waves
I wanna see the ground give way
I wanna watch it all go down

And in other news, I graduated from the master's program yesterday. The final revisions to the thesis are now done. Full title is 'Connecting Reading and Writing to Improve Student Perceptions of Writing.'

What I'm getting at is that I've been reading like gangbusters again. So look for a new catching-up post tomorrow where I'll regale you all with my thoughts about Battle Circle by Piers Anthony and Neena Gathering by Valerie Nieman (and my own personal brand of nitwittery). See you then.

Neena Gathering by Valerie Nieman Colander

2010-06-06T11:02:00.000-07:00

"We have a new wilderness. Not the wilderness William Bradford found at Plymouth Plantation and called hideous, and not the one that Thoreau knew. This wilderness is one we made ourselves. A wilderness of broken things, abandoned things."

- Arden the Change

First. Reblog. Ever.

2010-05-25T18:52:00.000-07:00

But worth it. Since I've been so busy with school, I've had no time to look for PA. Luckily I know lots of people who do. One of these is Megaton. He posted this jem about Project Noah. I am, quite fankly, intrigued.

**From Megat0m.com**

What the hell is Project Noah? May 25th, 2010

OK, I’ll play along; I don’t mind being a tool of a corporate PR machine, at least when what they’re PR’ing actually seems to be pretty cool.

The blog at FindSubjectZero.com purports to describe a mysterious viral outbreak spreading across the country, closely followed by reports of literally monstrous attacks on survivors. Evidence pours in in the form of comments on the blog, emails, videos and even newspaper clippings outlining the spreading contagion.

What’s the point? It’s a viral site set up to promote an upcoming novel called The Passage by Justin Cronin. Early reviews are skewing toward “awesome” with the most common comparison being to The Stand.

You might have heard me mention that The Stand is my favorite book of all time, so I’m going to be all over The Passage when it comes out on June 8th.

Here’s one of the items of “evidence” sent in to the site.

Random Non PA post ...

2010-05-24T20:39:00.000-07:00

So like I said in the last post ... no reading because of the need to work on my thesis. Well I got the rough draft done and turned in. My committee put their heads together and gave me a defense date of the 26th. That's right the day after tomorrow. (shit!) I, of course, freaked out. I don't know if I'm ready, what I need for it, what the defense is all about. The whole deal.

So yesterday and the day before I busted some serious ass and wrote a second draft. I feel much better about this one. I don't get that tight feeling in my chest when I think about what I've done anyhow.

I think what I've done this time is worth granting of a masters degree. I don't know for sure if just taking the comprehensive exams would have been easier. I've never been a fan of the easy way anyhow. As the anonymous bathroom-wall-writer said 'There's no use braggin' if you don't go all out'. Truer words were never spoken.